Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I feel like crying

I just can't explain it lately. I'm out of it. I don't want anything to do with Christmas this year. Usually my favorite holiday. I have a head cold. I have no money. I went shopping last weekend with Husband, and we got a lot of shopping done. But looking forward to this weekend, I have to take the kids to see Santa and buy a picture ($), get the usual ornaments I get every year ($, $). Buy something for my step-mom ($), something else for my sister ($). Something for Husband ($$$), pay for daycare ($). Maybe have some $$ left over to buy lunch next week and already I'm -$$$$$$$$$. Husband has money and if I ask, I'm sure he'll give me some to finish up the shopping. But I hate the feeling of not having my own money. It's like asking Dad for my allowance. I work hard all week long to help support our family and at the end of the week, I have almost NOTHING left to show for it. I hate it. I hate feeling like a deadbeat. I hate feeling like I don't contribute. I'm behind on a bunch of bills because my daycare amount doubled. No matter what I do I feel like I can't dig out of the hole I'm in and it only makes it worse because I feel like such a bad mom. I hate that I'm not excited for the Princess' first Christmas. I hate that I haven't sent out Christmas cards, or started/finished the photo book I wanted to give for Christmas. I hate that even if I was done with the book, I couldn't afford to order it anyways. I hate that I have a bunch of Thank you's to mail, but can't afford the postage. You might wonder why I don't just ask Husband for money, because. Because he spends his money on more important things, like the house payment and the water bill and the gas and electric. I can't barely even afford to buy any groceries and now I should ask him for money to buy stamps???? I just hate it.

I hate that I'm not a big fan of Husbands lately either. I hate that he doesn't want to touch me unless it's for sex. He doesn't want to talk to me unless it's to know what's for dinner. Yet he wants to pretend everything is okay. I hate that he spent time this morning kissing Princess, but ignored me. I hate it. I want to cry. And what I really hate is the fact that I'm at work and want to cry. Not in front of the boss.... I just HATE IT.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Head Colds are for the Birds

I hate being sick. I hate even more when you sound sick but feel okay. I have a head cold. My nose is stuffed up, yet is runny. I sound like I should be near death. I'm tired and want to lay down. But I actually feel pretty ok. I've been on the phone this morning and everyone tells me I sound terrible. I also have a stupid pathetic cough that sounds like I'm faking it. I'm a mouth breather now too, because of the stuffed up nose.

This weekend, we had Weo come over to our house. Friday night we took the monkey's to my Dad's house. Then we picked them up, +1 (Weo) and went back to our house. KM and Weo played and played and played somemore. They are "best friends". Or as Weo likes to say it sometimes, "KM we're Best My Friend." The tore the house apart, then picked it up (Ok I made them pick it up). Then the tore it apart again. They made forts, and played CARS, they watched the movie, they watched Sponge Bob and The Fairly Odd Parents. They were up until almost 11. I know, I know I should have made them go to bed, but I had them snuggled in on the couch at about 8.30 or 9 with all the lights off and I thought they would just go to sleep. I thought wrong. Sunday they were both super helpful. They both wanted to feed the Princess. They took turns holding her bottle. Then we packed them all up and headed East to Grandpa and Grandma's.

We dropped them off and Husband and I went to each lunch. After lunch we decided it was maybe time to get on the Christmas shopping. You know since we hadn't started yet and it is only 11 days until Christmas. So we hit Costco, Target and Office Max. We walked in to Office Max at 36 degrees F, and 15 minutes later walked out to 22 degrees F, and an iced over parking lot. We decided it was time to go home. Especially since we'd have to put our kids in the truck and drive with all the other crazies on slippery roads.

We got home and unpacked, ate dinner and I was out cold (ha ha get it) by 8.30. This head cold is kicking my butt. I have ZERO energy for anything besides surviving. It's all I can do to get out of bed in the middle of the night to feed the Princess.

I'm hoping it goes away soon. I'm gonna need all my reserves to make thru Christmas. I am so far behind and have NO Christmas spirit this year. Which makes me feel even worse, because it's the Princess' first Christmas and I want it to be special. I need to kick it in gear.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Hair Pie

Our neighbor came over last night to watch the Bears game. He's a Vikes fan, but didn't get the channel the Bears were on last night, and last nights game had implications on whether the Vikes could clinch the division. So anyways, after we dove in to the beer, for the second time this week, I didn't get to bed until after 2 am. But in reminising of old times, we were telling stories, and our neighbor has a memory of an elephant. He can remember everything -- be careful what you do. He won't let you forget it.

But we were talking about when Husband and I were building our first house. Husband was doing a lot of work on it, including being the job supervisor. We were out at the house after a horrible rain. It had rained like 10 ft in 10 minutes. Husband was walking around in the basement and trying to decide if we could pour the basement floor. I said NO that it was too wet. He said, I'm going down there to see, it can't be that wet. So as he's walking around in his NEW shoes in our wet clay basement, with a layer of sand over it, he decides that it's not that bad and we should probably pour. He goes over to the one corner to check it out and his one foot sinks in! So he tries to step with the other one to get out, and THAT ONE SINKS IN TOO!! He yells to me to help him, and I go running, what he thinks is for a shovel. Instead I come back with my camera and nothing else. He was completely stuck there, up to his knees, both feet. Between the sand, and the clay and the wet, he was completely sucked down -- NO ESCAPING. And while he was sitting there, literally stuck in the mud, I snapped a few pictures and finally after Husband had had about all the embarrasment he could take he said "Fuck it then, give me a cigarette!" So he sat down in the mud and we smoked and laughed. I had to throw out about a 100 or so I Told You So's, because I was right about it being too wet to pour.

Then after I made him sit there for quite some time, I handed him a shovel, and watched as he tried to dig himself out. That was almost funnier. Imagine, trying to dig yourself out with out taking off a knee cap or two. He got 2 scoops out and knew it wasn't going to work he handed me one end of the shovel and I pulled him to freedom. I had forgotten about all of this until the neighbor reminded is. He didn't even live there at the time. Our house was the first one on our street. I really need to find those pictures.

As it got later in to the evening/morning Neighbor started talking about Family Guy. We don't watch this show. We can't quite get the humor, and we have small children who pick up on EVERYTHING! So we watched a few clips online, I had the laptop out and was playing online. {Side note: As we sit around and drink beer and watch football, or just bullshit, I'm usually on the computer checking blogs. So as the boys talk about things, I Google them and give answers. For example, a few weekends ago they were taking about why John Madden doesn't fly. They didn't aske me to look it up. I hit Wikipedia and all of a sudden I was like, OK here's why he doesn't fly. This happened several times last night. Suddenly, I just have the answer to all of lifes questions. They find very good humor in it. It could be 5 topics later they are talking about and I'm back at why John Madden doesn't fly. That answer can be found here.} We watched the clip of when Meg makes a pie for Brian and she puts her own hair in it. It's so gross and so funny. I might have to give the show another chance.

After much laughter, I decided it was well past my bedtime on a school night and hurried off to bed. Should be an interesting night, we are suppose to go and see Hairband with them. I can't wait!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Shh Don't Talk About It

Last night Husband and I had some beers with our neighbor. He came over to help Husband install the plow on the Ranger. It was 1.30am before we went to bed. I don't even know where to start this. Husband all of a sudden, gets really weird and starts talking about how we never have sex unless he initiates it, that I never come on to him, how he feels like the hired hand. He said he's done trying. He'll still go to work and provide for the family, but he's done trying to be a husband. It's interesting too, how out of no where he brings this up. He doesn't stop talking long enough for our neighbor to ask him any questions, and he talks about me like I'm not even there, even though I was sitting less than 2 ft from him. I didn't say anything, because 1) he doesn't listen when I try to talk. Especially when he gets in martyr mode. 2) he doesn't really care what I have to say. He knows that he has it so rough, and he works so hard. I'm not saying he doesn't work hard, but SO DO I! He is the only one who deserves some time off, or time away. The reason I don't initiate sex with him is because that is the ONLY time he every even touches me is when he wants sex. He will never hold my hand, doesn't really sit by me on the couch, doesn't EVER touch me, until it's time for sex. Kind of makes me feel like I'm not good enough other wise. I try to explain to him that I don't like the way I look since having 2 kids, and that I'm self conscience. He tells me you look fine, so what, but then on the other hand never pays any attention to me. Which makes me think that he's also unhappy with how I look, but just won't say it. It's hard to want to be intimate with him when he could really care less about me. It's just so frustrating. And OH MY GOD if we try to talk about anything, he won't. He will either talk about it for a minute then ignore anything I have to say because only he is allowed to feel used, or he'll get angry and walk away so we never talk about anything. He'll never hear me out, hear my feelings, hear what it is that I have to say about anything. Sometimes, I feel like the damn nanny, more than a wife, but do I complain about it, NO, I try to be a better mom and wife, and realize it's just one day. Tomorrow will probably be better. I don't sit around and sulk about it. All I want is for him to realize that he's not the only one in the family and that some times I get frustrated too, and know what THAT'S OKAY. I'm allowed to be frustrated. So I guess for now, we'll sweep it under the rug once again and not talk about it. I'm tired of trying too, but DAMN IT we married for better, for worse, and sometimes we need to stick together to get through shit. Today, I feel like I'm going it alone.

Saturday, December 06, 2008


Already, I've fallen off my 'I'm blogging everyday.' But it's with good reason. I was sick yesterday. Very sick. I wanted to puke all day. But luck for me, I didn't. Thankfully Amma came over and watched the kids while Husband and I were out of commision. There were 6 kids out sick at daycare this week. So far KM hasn't been hit. The Princess threw up a few times but over all, she's doing pretty good. So now I'm back and am really making an effort at this.

Have a great night.

Thursday, December 04, 2008


This my 100th post. Not bad for nearly 2 and half years of blogging. I'm right on top of this. So in honor of 100 posts I'm going to post... well I don't know. It should be something good. I didn't even know this was coming up. I just happened to notice today when I logged in. So I'm totally unprepared. I kind of feel like when you're up for an award, and you don't make a speech because you know you won't win, AND THEN YOU WIN. Well it's really nothing like that, but exactly like that -- UNPREPARED. And if I were a dedicated blogger and had an actual reader, I'd probably ask that person what I should write about.

I guess in the mean time I have hit my goal of blogging every day. FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT!!!!

100, 100, 100 -- when I think of 100 it actually makes me think of counting and counting makes me think of the vision I have in my head of the way numbers count. This doesn't make sense until I explain it. When I start counting I count 1, 2, 3 -- but I have a picture in my head that goes with it. 1 at the bottom, then 2 on top, then 3. When I get to 10 the numbers then go from right to left, counting over to 20 then they go up again from 21 - 29, then 30 is next to 20, on it's right side of course. This is totally messed up, when I count, there is a very specific picture in my head. I'm going to draw a picture then upload so you can see in to the mind of a crazy. It's up there at the top, because I can't get it to go down here where I want it.

I don't know why (she swallowed the fly, perhaps she die...Can you say ADD ), but I've always saw this picture in my head since I can remember and that's just how numbers look when you count them. THE END.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Feeling Left Out

This morning King Monkey woke up and told me about the dream he had. He said that we had went to the neighbors to give him the wooden ladder and he was sad because we wouldn't let him come with us. I told him it was just a dream and that if we went to the neighbors we would let him come with. He said "Thank you mommy."

The night before he had a similar dream, and I don't remember what it was about, but he was feeling left out in that one too. I guess we need to spend a bit more time with him, alone, just him. I thought we had been spending a fair amount of time with him. I thought we were doing things with him alone. I thought we were not ignoring him. I thought we were making a point of treating him special. I guess it's not enough. We need to bring our A game to parenting.

We took the kids and Amma to a waterpark last weekend for Thanksgiving. We spent the whole weekend with him. We played in the water. We sat in the hot tub. Only after he went to bed, or was down for watching cartoons, did Husband and I go and do something else.

I love that he is old enough and smart enough to tell us what he needs. To tell us "hey fuckers, member me? I love you too." He doesn't just pitch bucky fits, he tells us what's wrong. He talks to us. And I can always tell when he needs more love, because he asks to sit on my lap. Or he'll say in a very sad voice, "I love you."

I guess he needs more mom and dad time. I think we'll spend this weekend decorating for Christmas and putting up the tree. I'll try to make some memories, good ones instead of bad dreams.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

If I could get my crap together I could have a new career..

Yesterday I was reading blogs at home and Husband was looking over my shoulder asking me about blogs. I told him that Dooce supports her family with her blog. He told me to get a blog, I said I have one. He said why don't you support us with it. I told him I would if I had time to write. He said if you make money with it, you can stay at home and write. Whoo Hoo! However, I can't just quit my job to stay at home and write, especially since I am making a total of $0 dollars and $0.00 cents with this blog at the moment. So in a effort to get what I really want (to stay at home with the kids and get paid for it) I am making an honest effort to start writing here more often. I'll make it my new years resolution, but if I start it now, maybe by January 1st I'll already be in the habit and there will be less pressure to do it everyday since I'll already be doing it every day. Follow that? Good, glad we had this talk.

Plus, the powers that be at my current job are changing a few things and it all has to do with the economy and because of those changes, I will actually probably have to pay in at the end of the week just to work where I'm at. It sucks, and I would rather it be different, but things are the way they are so now it's time for me to make some changes for the betterment of my own family.

Here goes!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

The King and The Queen

KM has adjusted so very well to have the Queen Monkey around. He is not jealous or mean. He is so very sweet to her. He loves having the job of being "in charge." We race to see who can give her "all the kisses." It's his job to tell me when she cries (even if I can hear her). Today he was barking orders for someone to "put the nookie in!" He knows that being a big brother is a very important job. He knows it's his job to teach her things. When she cries, he sings to her, usually the ABC's. I think he has even been teaching her how to suck her thumb. I just know she'll be a thumb baby. When she was about a week old, she managed to find her thumb into her mouth, but since then she has been sucking on her hand a ton. He smothers her in kisses. He is so gentle. Two days ago he held her and gave her a bottle. I don't think in my whole life I have ever seen someone so proud of something. I don't think I'll ever see that look again. You could see on his face that he knew he was doing an important thing. You could see the love he has for his sister. They will be the best of friends and the worst of enemies at times, but I will never forget that moment. They were bonding and it melts my heart. I catch him talking to her all the time. He sings her Old McDonald Had a Farm and tells her stories. He will teach her so many things and they will get in to lots of trouble. But I can't wait for the ride. He will protect her and threatend to beat up people who are mean to her. He will teach her to be tough and how to play baseball. He will help her learn to crawl and then walk. He'll pick her up when she falls down. He will hug her when she cries. I couldn't ask for a better big brother for her and I know she will feel the same.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Random Weekend

Today was one of those days that needed to happen around here. I had been neglecting the laundry, the dishes, the house cleaning. We had a busy week last week, and I just couldn't bring myself to do the mundane. So today was catch up day. KM and I came home from staying at Amma's and got to work. We even had time to make killer meatloaf. Even after all of the house cleaning, I still couldn't get Husband to say something nice about it. I had to ask him if he liked it. This drives me crazy. I don't need big production, but a simple, Thanks for doing that, or the house looks good, would have been nice. Plus I was watching 2 kids all day while I had to try and get it done. Lucky for me KM was a HUGE help. He likes to be a big helper and do "chores."

He is the super cutes big brother. He is constantly kissing and hugging her telling her "you're so sweet." Friday I called Amma to talk, but asked KM if he wanted to talk to his sister (she was squirming and making some noise so he could hear her). I put the phone up to her, and he was on the other line, she started to cry, so I pulled the phone away so I could pick her up and I could hear him on the other line "It's okay, It's okay." He was saying it in the most soothing voice, just like I would say it.

There was also a bit of drama this weekend with one of our friends B and his girlfriend. She tried to kill herself, but really I think it was huge attention getter. The worst part of the whole thing, she did it while her 3 year old son was in the house with her. I have NO time for people who do shit like this. If you want to kill yourself, go ahead. But are you not smart enough to think about your son first?! It's a bunch of shit, a bunch of drama, and I kind of think the reason she needed so much attention was because our friend was smoking. Because this is the kind of thing you kill yourself over. I wasn't there, and I haven't talked to her, but I know she is a bit of a drama queen and a control freak. This had nothing to do with, ending her life because she couldn't take it anymore, and everything to do with "B will realize how much he loves me and change his ways when he sees what it's like to almost lose me." I'm just irritated with the whole situation. I think she deserves to lose her son. I don't know if he would be better off in another home, just because it's a lot of adjustment for a 3 year old, but people like her don't deserve to have kids. At the very least, her parents should get him. I'm done with her. B I'll still talk to, but her, she just lost a friend. People who are that self centered deserve everything they get in life, and what she just got was one less friend and client.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Introducing Queen Monkey

She is the most beautiful girl I think I have ever seen. It doesn't hurt that she looks EXACTLY like me! She has a ton of black hair and blue eyes. Everyone says she has my eyes and that they sparkle like mine. I really like this comment. I think my eyes are one of my best features, and to know that she has them too, is so wonderful. KM thinks she is great. He loves being a big brother. He also loves it when I tell him "he's in charge." He has to watch her and tell me if she cries when I go to the bathroom, or into the other room for a minute. He is always asking if she can come and lay by him. He likes to watch cartoons in our bedroom and the basket she sleeps in is on the bed. So when we are watching TV in the living room he would rather that she lay in the basket by him. He talks to her all the time and calls her a "little rascal."

About a week after we came home, we were eating lunch and she was in the bedroom in her bassinet, and she made a noise. So KM said he would go and check on her, to see if she needed her nookie. He was only gone for a few minutes, but it seemed like forever when they were alone. Husband looked at me and said "You don't think he's trying to pick her up do you?" I said I don't think so but I'll go and check. So I walked in to our room and there he was, stool pulled up next to the bassinet so he could sit and watch her. He was leaning on his arms, just looking at her. It was the most precious moment. I took a picture of them. I have this same picture, from when I came home from the hospital, of my brother lovingly looking at me the same way. I'll never forget how sweet he looked, just looking at her.

She is the most perfect addition to our family.

What's next, dating??

Yesterday KM took Amma's phone and started running away. She said "Get back here with that!"

His answer, "NO I'M TEXTING!!"

(He's 3 and a half.)

Then later we asked him what Texting means, he said something about monsters, and Amma.

Monday, August 18, 2008

KM has a random thought patern

Things he said today:

Mommy my brain hurts.
I want my hair back! What hair I asked him? The hair they cut off last time!
I'm gonna give the baby all the kisses.
She's wide open mom. (means she is awake.)

My List

I was reading Dooce today and she asked a great question. Who would be on your list of Famous People To Have Sex With? I've often thought about this, because a girl likes to dream, but now is the time to write it down. I reserve the right to change this list at any time. Also they are in no particular order. I'd do them all at any time!

1. Brad Pitt
2. Michael Phelps
3. George Clooney
4. David Beckham
5. Dean McDermott

I know a little cliche with Brad Pitt and George Clooney, but everytime I see Ocean's Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen, I nearly die. I'm pretty sure Michael Phelps is on EVERYONES list this week. But I like the fact that he seems really normal and down to earth. David Beckham -- well if I need to explain this to you, you have either a) never seen him, or b) never heard him talk. I love a man with an accent. Lastly, Dean McDermott, he is an unlikely choice. I have been watching lots of Tori and Dean Inn Love/Home Sweet Hollywood. He is a fantastic husband, a good provider, a loving father and he's nice to look at.

So that is the list. What's yours??

UPDATE: So after more consideration, I have realized that I am missing some of my favorites. I made this list very quickly and felt like it was missing something. So others on my list would be (you know, if I wasnt' limited to 5, then again it's my list so I guess I can have as many as I want right?) Kenny Chesney, Dermont Mulroney, Patrick Dempsey.

Monday, July 14, 2008

I would eat him if it were legal!

Saturday, Auntie took some pictures of KM and I. He has been the super cutest with my belly and I knew I would be disappointed if I didn't take some pictures of him with it. It was super super windy out, but they turned out really cute. The one of us standing and he's kissing my belly -- I'm totally having this framed. I figured since Auntie is going to go to school in the fall for photography, I would let her have a shot at it. I think she did a great job. I am also going to have her take some once the baby is here. Which by the way that I feel, may be today. I feel like total crap and have doctors appointment at 12.45. If not before, then at the very least this baby will make her appreance next Monday, July 21st. We have scheduled a c-section. Also, I have her "room" done. We finished it yesterday with the help of my mom. She is God's gift to mothers and I don't know what I would do with out her.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

In My Head All Day

I can't stop listening to this song. I love it!!! Reminds me of being young and in love -- you know, High School love. Carefree, nothing to do all day, go to parties at night, flirt with boys, dancing in the bed of trucks (something I know a thing or two about.)

I guess I'll never be back there since baby number 2 is only days away. But I can dream right?!

Aww Blast! (Part 2)

I've already posted the cute things KM has done lately. So now I'm making good on my promise to post about the spill I took because I'm a clumsy pregnant lady. It's really not that interesting. I was walking in my mom's garage to tell Husband what things to pack up after the graduation party. He picked them up and was carrying them outside. I was shortly behind him and was looking for my pop. I triped over the handle on the cooler and took a spill with my huge belly. Lucky for me there was another cooler out in front of me and I fell with my arms landing on that. If that hadn't been there, I probably would have ended up on my belly and that would have been bad. I scraped my knee and tore my pants. It was kind of weird because it swelled up instantly. It was huge lump. I had to ice it a bit and it really hurt still the next day. But really no harm done, thankfully. I had to go to the doctor a few days later and the doctor asked me if I had been skate borading. I told her no, that I fell because I was so front heavy.

Like I said, really not that interesting of a story, but there you have it finally. Notice I started this post on 7/10 and today is 8/22. I guess I kind of forgot.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Life according to KM

"Pregnant means you ate your baby."

Amma asked him how does the baby get out -- "When she's done cooking, she comes out."

"Mommy, I had a good sleep."

KM picked out a onesie for the baby and I asked him what it said on the front. He held it really close to his face and said, "Dear shirt for the baby."

KM was eatting treats with Amma at our house and told her that he had to eat ALL the treats so he could get a big belly like mommies.

"Mommy, you're the sweetest mommy." (I had turned on cartoons for him.)

"Mommy, you're such a good mommy." (I had got up at 6am to put in CARS for him."

Oh Baby

So here it is a whole week later and I am still just as tired. I swear, it feels like I haven't slept in days. KM crawled into bed last night around 2 am. He is such a little bed pig. For being only 3 feet tall, he takes up the room of a giant man. I love to snuggle with him this is why I don't leave and go to sleep on the couch. But I really should have. I get much better sleep. I guess it's because I feel guilty that soon there will be a new baby and if he does come to sleep with us, there will be less room, or he won't be allowed at all to sleep there. I haven't decided what I'll do yet. Plus, I'll have less time for him and I'm trying to soak up as much KM time as I can.

I went to the DR last week and finally got some answers as to what I should do. I was hoping that a VBAC was an option, but with the litter I am carrying, they suggest that I do a repeat c-section. I guess that's fine too. It's nice to know one way or the other. They are measuring her at 8 lbs, +/- 9 oz. Still, she's a fatty. Or I mean, healthy baby girl. So the clock is ticking and I don't feel all that ready. I have diapers, and clothes and wipes. Husband finally built a changing table and her corner is mostly done. But I guess it's because Husband and I can't decide on a name. I have one I like and he has one he likes and they are similar, but we have not agreed. We also don't have a third name that we both like. With KM, he had a name, I had a name and we had a compromise name that we both liked. Not the case this time.

So it looks like it's down to about 2 weeks and Butch (this is what KM calls her) will be here. I suppose I better hurry up and get ready. I have been trying to plan ahead a little with meals and supplies for around the house, but it seems like everytime I cross something off my list of "that will make life easier", I come up with 3 more to add to it to get done before then. No matter what I'll never be ready. But lucky for me, my mom has a bunch of time off and is going to take some and come and help me. Plus Husband will be around, and my aunt has offered to come and help. I suppose I could just give up a little control over everything and let them (KM and Husband) fend for themselves a bit. Husband, when given the chance always steps up to the plate and makes it work. It's just that I rarely give him the chance.

Maybe my problem is, I like things the way they are, even though I really want another baby. I'm sort of feeling like things will never be this great again. KM is so very cute and wonderful, and once she's here, EVERYTHING will be different and I'm really hoping that is doesn't change him. I don't want him to be jealous or feel neglected. I have this feeling that once she's here, even though he's very excited, he'll be a different kid. I guess that's just how it goes and we'll roll with it.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Aww Blast!

I've had this window open since 12:42pm and have not written anything until now (4:27pm). I'm too tired to give a shit. I actually have lots to write about. My sister's graduation party, KM has been the super cutest, how very much I want/need a nap, and the clumsy spill I took yesterday that hurt my knee. But instead, I think I'm going to screw off for the next 15 minutes and leave the office early. I'll fill in the blanks later.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I don't know much, but I know I love you...

I'm really not feeling it today. I feel like a nap and a massage and maybe a trip to the chiropractor. But I don't have time for any of them. BLAST that work thing I need to do everyday to pay for diapers.

My sisters graduation party is this Saturday. My mom is swamped. She has a hundred million things she wants to do, but I have a feeling, many will go undone. She has such great creative ideas, but time and money always interfer with her plans. I know the place will look great, and she'll pull it together about an hour before people show up. It's kind of like magic.

I need to go and eat lunch, but am too lazy to drive across the street to Subway. It's probably because I'm not really in the mood for Subway. It's either that or Burger King and I am REALLY not in the mood for Burger King.

King Monkey has been extra cute lately. He has been so nice and loving. He asks me all the time if he can kiss the baby and hug the baby. This morning he told me he was going to buy the baby a llama and a deer. I'm not really sure why. We were driving along and he saw something - I didn't see it so I don't know if it was a llama or a deer, he called it both. He said it's "down by the deep water." Then he told me he was going to get a llama for the baby, (pause) and a deer. I guess she needs both.

Totally Random Sidetrack --

Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life.

I would die for the safety of the people I love.

I just read this article about George Carlin. I liked him as an actor and as a comedian. These are 2 of the many life lessons he learned. I just like the way he put it.

End Totally Random Sidetrack.

Back to how cute KM is. This morning he cried when I left him in bed. He wanted to lay by me and not daddy. He says, "Mommy, you're the sweetest mommy." He has been asking all kinds of questions about the baby and what everything is for. Yesterday he told me that we need to build her a stroller. I said we have one in the garage. "Oh, for the baby?" Yup, for the baby. Abby (at daycare) asked if they were going to take my baby out yet, and KM told her, "Not til she's done cookin." The other night KM asked Husband, "Daddy are you pregnant?" He said NO, "Oh, how come?" Because only girls get pregnant.

This is going to be an interesting ride once this baby is born. I know KM will be good with her, but still it will be plenty interesting.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Should Have Said No

Man, I love her. I can't stop listening to this song lately. I like all of her music.

Other songs stuck in my head:
We Weren't Crazy, Josh Gracin

If I Could Turn Back Time, Cher

I Miss You, Honey Dogs

Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Still Pregnant

I went to the doctor today for my weekly check up. 33 2/7 weeks -- and she said I had to stay pregnant. I asked her again if she could take this baby out, and once again she told me no. So I'm going to ask her again next week. Eventually I'll wear (not sure if this is the correct wear) her down and she'll take this baby out. I guess it's okay at the moment, I don't have much ready for the baby. I haven't washed her clothes yet and I haven't bought a Coming Home From the Hospital outfit. I don't even have any diapers either. My big plan for the weekend besides, Father's Day and Husbands birthday are to get a little more ready for the Babe, or Butch as KM calls her.

I suppose I should at the very least make a list of things I want at the hospital. That way, I have a list to go off of for packing, or I can make Husband do it. I also need to have Husband make the changing table. He's probably waiting for me to design it first.

Monday, June 09, 2008


This is the sound of me sleeping at my desk. I am tired today and don't want to work. Lucky for me, there is nothing super pressing that needs to be done. So I can putt around and do things very slowly. I just want to curl up and take a nap. It was a busy weekend with lots of walking around and I am spent. I felt like there was no Saturday to my weekend. Thank God for my mom. She came down yesterday and kept an eye on KM while I did some shopping. She also did my laundry, did my dishes, cleaned the laundry room and kitchen. She is so fantastically wonderful. What I usually do when she's around is take a nap, but yesterday there just wasn't time. BLAST!

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment AGAIN. But the good news of that is, I get to sleep in a bit. My doctor is busy, so usually the earliest I can get an appointment for is 9 or 9.30. Which means almost an extra hour of sleep for me. That is unless KM decides to wake up early. He will then come and crawl in to bed with me and snuggle while daddy turns on the cartoons. So at the very least I don't have to get out of bed to parent him!

Today my feet feel like they don't fit in my shoes. I don't know if I'm retaining water, or if they are swollen from the amount of walking or if they are just as tired as the rest of me. All I know, is that it hurts a little. They are a little tingly. I need my husband to rub them.

I went for a pedicure on Saturday strictly for them to rub my feet. The painted toes were nice, but I go for the massage. I went to a new place and it was awful. I should have waited at my usual place, but I was impatient and now am paying the price. It was only $10.00 cheaper. My usual place has a "delux" pedicure, which is what I get. The other place didn't And the massage sucked. I don't know if she was trying to be nice and gentle since I am pregnant, but I have been getting cramps in my legs and I really wanted them to massage the cramp out. NOTHING! I am really kicking myself. From now on, only to the place I know.

Now off to put my feet up and take a nap.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

This what it looks like to be 80 months pregnant.

I know what you're thinking -- GOOD LORD SHE'S GONNA POP ANY MINUTE! However, that is not the case, and I am actually not due for another 8 weeks. I may die between now and then.

I don't remember having this feeling with KM. I was big, but I didn't feel as "full." I am out of room to eat and breath. This baby must be about 22 pounds already. According to the ultrasound from 2 weeks ago, she was already 4 lbs 7oz then. This is 2 weeks later and if she's keeping up with the Joneses, she's about 5 and half pounds. They say after week 31 they gain about a half a pound per week. Seriously, I don't have room for 4-5 more pounds of baby. I ask her everyday if she'll move out. Then when she doesn't listen I yell at her to GET OUT! Still nothing. If this is what the next 18 years will be like, I'm in for a rough ride, and I might as well keep her inside. At least she doesn't talk back to me in there.

People keep asking me if I'm done since we'll have both a boy and a girl. I tell them to ask me again in 2 years when I forget how much I HATE being pregnant. Husband says we're done! He says he's tired of listening to me complain and that he can't go through this one more time. I tell him that when it's his uterus, he can make all the decisions he wants, but since it's mine I'll decide when we're done. :) I think I'll need to make up my mind before we get pregnant with another if that is my last one or not. I know if I do it after the fact, I'll feel like I didn't savor every minute of it. I am not a glowy happy pregnant girl. Either way, I'll complain thru it, but at least I'll know ahead of time, if this is the last time I'll do this.

Right now, I'm just looking forward to KM having a sister. He seems pretty excited we're having a baby. He lays on my tummy and 'hugs' her. He listens to see if he can hear her. He feels my belly when she kicks and gets a very excited look on his face, but doesn't say He's very gentle with my belly and will rub it when I say it hurts. Although, I think, he thinks we're having a boy. He keeps calling her Riley. He is so very gentle and peaceful and helpful with the baby at Wickty's house. She says he's not jealous at all and she thinks he'll do just fine. I'm a little more nervouse about him seeing me in the hospital. He was terrified of Husbands crutches from a few weeks ago. He wouldn't go near him to give him hugs. Luckily, I won't be in the hospital for ever, just long enough to scar him for life.

So until this baby decides to move out, I will be miserable. Too bad I can't be miserable and drunk!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

KM the Construction Man

Here is KM all dressed up and ready for work.

Saturday KM and Husband were working in the yard. They had all kinds of 'chores' to do. When Husband told KM they had work to do, KM corrected him and let him know that they had 'CHORES' to do. KM came in the house to get his hat and I set him down to put his shoes on the right feet. He quickly pointed out that his shoe was broken. The toe had a small hole in it. He said "That's cuz daddy and I are working too hard."

"Mommy, we went to the rock store." (also known as the green house to get rock.)

"We went to the gum ball store too." (also known as ACE Hardware.)

Husband and KM were digging up some grass to put down fabric and rock instead. They had all the grass dug out and asked me to come and look at it. Then they went to the Gum Ball Store to get fabric to put down. It was KM's job to hand Husband the poker poker's (the stakes that hold down the fabric). KM didn't understand what the poker's and the fabric were for. He thought it was kind of a like a game. He kept poking them anywhere he wanted in the fabric making lots of holes for weeds to grow though. Finally I explained to him that the poker's only go on the outside. He would then line up 4-5 pokers along the edge in one spot. A little over kill, but at least the middle was finally hole free. This is after we had to put down 2-3 layers of fabric because the one under for some reason had holes in it.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Rain Rain Go Away -- Hail Hail Come Today!

This is my goofy monkey. He's explaining what Uncle Jake does when you put the 'snow balls' in his shirt. Memorial weekend we got a big hail storm at home. Most people hate it when bad weather comes their way. Husband on the other hand was praying for more. With every 'snow ball' that hit the ground we heard Cha-Ching! Insurance work is good for construction companies.

We had a lot of fun watch KM after the storm passed and he was out in the yard. He kept picking them up and putting them in people's shirts or pants. He thought it was so very funny to watch them wiggle and giggle.

I like the last picture. KM decided to dress himself before he went outside. He needed a 'coat' so he put on a short sleeved hawaiian shirt! Plus he has his boots on with shorts. He is so very cute.

Monday, May 19, 2008

How rich will I be?


How much money will you be worth?

This was kind of fun. Take it for yourself here.

The questions are pretty goofy, but it is only 15 questions long.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


OOOOOO (as in OOOO, AAHHH) - BOOB -- this is KM's word for boobs, mine, daddy's or his. One day I was putting him in the truck and he tells me, "Mommy, you hurt my oooo-boob." I almost tipped over from laughing. Where does he come up with this stuff? This morning I was holding him on my lap telling him that we needed to get going and he pulls out my shirt at the neck and looks down it. "Mommy, you don't have no oooo-boobs." Then he reached his hand down it and started laughing -- "OOOO-BOOB!" He's such a goonie-heimer!

Maybe that's where he gets it! Amma and I are constantly making up words for things. Ish-ta-la-gook-a-la -- Amma's word for a dirty diper, or doopa's -- as in "we need to change your doopa's" (also a poopy diaper). However, I can't take credit for this one, Vicki claims the rights to this. Goonie-toonie -- pretty much anytime I don't really know what to say to him, I make up a new word. Which is a lot of fun when he tries to repeat them.

Yesterday we opened my Mother's day present, and I got a Cram-er-a. That's right a Cram-er-a. On our way home he asked me if we were going to stop and get sss-ram-riches, smam-rich, sam-rich -- no matter how you cut it, he can not say sandwich, and I think it's hilarious. I ask him all the time about sandwiches so that he'll say it.

I love the way he says everything lately, both in pronunciation and in general talking. He wants to talk about EVERYTHING. We can have a 10 minute discussion on why the tree has nuts on it. He asks a lot of why questions lately and I'm trying to give him actual answers, instead of "I don't know." But some days my mind doesn't work, so then I make something up. Or I tell him to ask someone else, daddy, Amma, Vicki. One day he'll stop talking to me, so I'll miss this stage. Man O Man do I love that kid!

Friday, May 09, 2008

With friends like these, who needs enemies...

Our "friends" are still jerking us around on some money they owe us. We can't figure out why either. J & K had Husband re-steel their shed. It was insurance work and none of the money was coming out of their pocket. And because Husband had to race over there one day when the insurance agent was coming out, J & K got an extra probably $20,000.00. They wouldn't have gotten this amount had it not been for Husbands sweet talking. So he bid the job like he would any other and got it. He did them a big favor in the whole deal. They got their first check probably a month before Husband even started. Then Husband did the work and turned in a invoice. This was well over a month ago, close to 2 months ago. Still we've seen half the money. THAT'S RIGHT, HALF OF THE MONEY THEY WERE PAID BEFORE HE EVEN STARTED. We've tried calling and being nice, but in the end they (J & K) play good cop/bad cop. When you talk to one, they have to talk to the other one. I swear neither one of them know what the fuck is going on in their business. When they did actually pay us half of it, they acted like somehow, they were doing us a big favor by even giving us half. Excuse me, didn't Husband do the work for you? Didn't he save you some money? Didn't he save you some hassle and get the job done right away like he said he would? And you are going to pretend like you are doing US a favor? FUCK OFF!

Recently we also found out that they are pregnant and due in the fall. Nice friends, they didn't even bother to call and tell us that. I guess I don't care really. They are going to make crappy parents. They will be worse than any helicopter parents you've ever met. I know I've said I'm done with their friendship and I don't want or need it any more so why care that they didn't call? It's because they don't really know that I'm done with them. I have been trying to play nice so that we can get the other half of our money. If it were anyone else, they would have paid them. But they think we don't need the money. IT'S NOT UP TO YOU TO DECIDE IF WE NEED THE MONEY OR NOT! Remember -- you're not part of our family and don't know what kind of bills and expenses we have each month. You don't know what that money will be used for, so who are you to decide if we really need it or not.

I also think that they spent it on other things so they no longer have it. They came over at the beginning of April and we had dinner (I'll let you guess who cooked) and they spent quite a bit of time telling us about the new dump trucks they bought for the business. (The pole shed is company property, not personal.) They also were telling us about the new truck they bought for J's brother and how they spent so much money on it, that when you look at it, all you can see it dollar signs. Hmmm, I wonder where our money went? It's funny too, because about a year ago, all J could talk about was how stupid it is to own your own dump truck. (My boss has 3 of them). "There's no money in it. It's cheaper to hire someone else. What you don't realize is how much upkeep they are," and so on. Now, conveniently enough, they just bought 2. J will find any reason to put someone else down just to make himself look/feel better.

I just feel like every time they get a chance, they try to screw us. Even in simple ways. Like when we go on vacation with them to Florida and we rent a house, EVERY time they take the biggest and nicest bedroom. Don't you think once in a while we could all trade and take turns? Nope, J is entitled to it somehow. I think he sends someone ahead and has his name engraved.

I'm just tired of it. Looking back, I wonder why we put up with so much when we were getting so little back. I'm on my way to their side of the world for something different, but am going to call to see if they have our check. Probably not, but I'm tired of waiting. It's time to be persistent.

*** UPDATE *** I have some new news from this whole fiasco, but am so irritated right now that I can't even type it. Let's just say that Husband is a rock star. He handled himself very well, didn't get angry or yell or swear. He can be so professional. Me on the other hand, I wanted to punch K in the face or the vagina! -- I don't care if she's pregnant. She deserves it for her underhanded way of handling this. I will NEVER speak to them again. I don't care how often I see them. As far as I'm concerned, they can die a slow painful death. This is not how you treat people or "friends" and karma will come around one day and bitch slap them. (Hopefully in the vagina!)

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Super Potty

We have been trying (not really hard, and unsuccessfully) to potty train KM. He will talk about it and tell us that he has to go potty, but when we ask him if he wants to go and sit on the potty he says NO. Then he'll tell us that he has "poopy stinks" and asks "Mommy will you change me?" He's just so cute when he does it that I can't say no.

They have been going out side at day care. Since it's so nice out, they play for a long time. But when Vicki asks if he has to go potty, he pitches a bucky fit and screams bloody murder. She even tells him that he gets to go back outside when he's done and he doesn't have to take his shoes off. Still, Nothing. So I had the genius idea yesterday of bringing the Super Potty to Vicki's. It's the little potty we got from Uncle Leo. KM was fantastic at using it one Sunday. He went pee 7 or 8 times that day with little prompting from me. I think it helped that I let him wear his big boy pantylooners (underwear). The problem is, he's not good enough at it yet to send him to Vicki's house in them. Gupa tried that last week, and KM made it about 10 minutes before he had wet pants. So today we are going to try the Super Potty. I thought maybe if he doesn't even have to go inside to go potty, maybe that would help. I'll be interested to see how he does. He's so close. He knows when he has to go, and he's not afraid to sit on the potty. But still, he would rather go in his diaper. I've tried lots and lots of bribing. Candy when he goes, 2 candies when he asks and then goes. I told him when he learns to go all the time we'll go to the store and he can pick out a toy. He's been asking for a Transformer. So when he learns to go, we'll go and get one. But still, even with all the bribing and incentives it's just not enough to tip the scale.

Maybe this weekend we'll have some time to work on it. We're having low key family weekend. You know the boring kind where you clean the house and do laundry. And since it's Mother's day on Sunday, we're going out to brunch then home for more nothing. He really likes wearing the panty-wooners. He feels like a really big boy. Maybe this what we need to focus on. That and more treats!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Arizona -- The Grand Canyon State

Or what I would like to refer to as the most wonderful state ever! OK, maybe not ever, but we did have a great time. Very relaxing, even though we were only there for 5 days. I would go back again. The area we stayed in was really nice, Chandler AZ.

It was a little weird being there with a bunch of guys. 7 guys and myself. Not that out of the ordinary since they are all our friends from back home. It's just that when we normally hang out, there is at least 1 other girl there. Oh well, doesn't bother me. What does bother me is when a friend of ours gets drunk, he acts like a total ass. I have know Brian since we were in 6th grade. We were in the same class and we hung out all the time. Along with 2 other friends, we were kind of the 'brat pack'. We'd look for ways to get in trouble, or better yet, get things that we didn't really deserve.

In our 6th grade classroom, there was a couch. It was really cool. None of the other teachers had a couch, or a tee pee. If you weren't feeling well, or were extra awesome that day, you'd get to sit on the couch. You would also get to bring one person along with you. This was the same for the tee pee, if you were awesome. The 4 of us would scheme to get to sit on the couch or the tee pee everyday. Most days it was either Brian and Ryan or Amanda and I on the couch/in the tee pee. How much trouble could we cause really, we were in 6th grade. But we did our best to get the best every day. Sitting in the tee pee meant sitting on the floor, but for some reason, that was SO MUCH COOLER than sitting at our desk.

Anyways, I've know him for the better part of my life and we have always been good friends. When we were in Sioux Falls for a wedding last fall, we all went out for Halloween. He got really drunk and started fighting with one of our other friends. This is nothing new. If one of our evenings doesn't end up in a fight, we haven't really done our job. So he was pissed. We left the bar, and I was asking him what happened. I wasn't looking to take sides, the fights are always over something stupid. But he wouldn't talk to me or tell me anything. Finally he turned to Husband and said "She better shut her mouth! She doesn't talk to me! I'm not fucking talking to her!" None of it was directed at me, all the Husband. Kind of like 'you better check your woman!' Whatever drunky!

Same thing in AZ. We were on our way home from a wedding that had been going on all day. We got to the church at 1, left at 2 for the reception. The took pictures after the ceremony, so we had about 4 hours to kill while waiting for the wedding party to be done. We went and ate then bellied up to the bar. Cocktail hour, dinner, more open bar and pretty soon it's Midnight. It was time for me to drive everyone one. Fuck around, fuck around, everyone was in the car ready to go. Except for Brian. He was standing around trying to pick up girls from the wedding (keep in mind he has a girlfriend of 3.5 years). Finally we get him to get in the car so we can leave (and so he doesn't have to take a cab), and we are on our way back to the hotel. Everyone was pretty much done for the night. Brian wanted to go to the bar still. I told him, we're going back to the hotel first, then I'll take you to the bar. It was already almost 1:00am. He gets pissy and calls a cab company and tells them meet us at so and so hotel, "Our friend won't take us to the bar." I'm sorry, WHAT?! I said I'd take you, but most everyone else wanted to go back to the hotel. He was just being a douche bag about it. The rest of the guys couldn't thank me enough for driving them back. They had a ride, it didn't cost them anything and they were safe and sound. Brian on the other hand, he acts like he's a god. Then I find out later, when he was re-telling the story, he makes me look like an ass. You know what, I can make you look like an ass too when I tell your girlfriend that you had sex with one of the bridesmaids in the hotel bathroom. Or about the time he picked up a random chick at our Christmas party and had sex with her too, at the hotel. How about that pal! Fuck off. When he's sober, he's smart and intelligent and can be a very nice guy. Let him have a few cocktails and he's such an arrogant prick. The problem is I'll never be away from him and his shit. His brother is the godfather of our new baby. We LOVE his brother. I just wish Brian would see that his drinking needs to slow down and he needs to start growing up.

I do believe in karma, and since he's been such a shit to his girlfriend, I know one day he'll get his. It will come back around.

Until then, I'll be planning another trip back to AZ. I need some more sunshine!

The fear of God...

KM had the fear of God put in him last week. We went out to eat with my dad, step-mom and the boys. After dinner, which was like trying to teach monkeys to fly, we headed out to the parking lot to say good bye. The boys (including KM) were wild as usual. KM and Leo started running out into the part of the parking lot where people drive, (we were standing in a handicap spot). Luckily the lady ready to back out saw them, and stopped. However, KM didn't bother to listen when I was running after him yelling, "KM STOP! KM GET OVER HERE! KM STOP! KM STOP, STOP RUNNING!" I finally caught up with him, he was half way around the building. Not only am I too pregnant to run at all, I'm to pregnant to have to run that fast to catch a 3 year old who doesn't want to listen. Normally he's a very good listener, especially in a parking lot. We have talked a lot about how dangerous they can be. When he stopped running from he, he said he was being a "race car driver". Which sort of made sense, the going fast and all. It still didn't get him off the hook for not listening.

On our drive home, I was trying to tell him the importance of listening to his mother when she says stop. I said the cars won't see you because you're little (meaning short). He just started crying saying "I'm not little, I'm big!" So I had to re-phrase, and teach him a new word, Short. Which he still didn't totally understand. But what he now understands is that when we are in a parking lot he is to stand by the truck until I say it's time to go. Then we hold hands and walk together. And if he doesn't listen to me when I say stop, what happens? "I get a spanking." And if you run out in to the parking lot, "I get a spanking."

I am not one to beat my kids (well most days!). However, I grew up with spankings. I think that they can get your attention enough so that you remember you don't want to repeat that behavior. I threaten more spankings than I could ever hand out, and when he does get a swat on the butt, it's through his diaper so I know it doesn't hurt him, but it gets his attention, which is exactly what I want. He remembers what it is that he did to get a spanking and has yet to repeat any of those behaviors.

I know he won't forget that day anytime soon. Whenever we get in a parking lot and are getting out I ask him what the rules are and he knows everyone. I'm just lucky that lady saw him and I running and stopped and waited for us. She even opened her door to ask me if she could back out, as to not run over any children. Maybe those prayers I have been saying to watch over our family are really getting to the Big Guy upstairs, maybe he really does hear me. Either way, I'm glad KM got the fear of God put in to him that day, and not something far worse.

Monday, April 28, 2008


I feel like ass today. My friend Chooch thinks I'm in labor. I don't really think so, but will call the doctor later. I'll finish my post about KM another time and post it.

Until then, I'm hoping for death!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

We're all a bunch of goonies

  • She doesn't like to touch her own hair once it has fallen out of her head. It makes her gag.

  • It drives him crazy if they forgot to deliver his mail.

  • She doesn't like sharing a hand towel with her younger brother, but her husband is okay.

  • He talks in terms of days, "I can't wait for 7-10 days until my credit card gets here!", "Has it been 7-10 days?"

  • She will clean her bathroom once a week.

  • He won't put his hands in the dirt, and doesn't like it when they have anything on them.

  • She doesn't like to shower because she doesn't like wet hair.

  • He'll shower a few times a day sometimes.

  • She doesn't mind doing laundry, but hates putting the clothes away.

  • She would rather load the dishwasher than unload it.

  • He will be your best friend until he is threatened by you, then you are the dumbest person alive. You couldn't possibly know as much as he does.
  • She will never call you unless you have called her first.
  • He will complain about his steak because "it's not like I make at home."

(Writing style borrowed from Stephanie. If she wants me to remove this post, I'd be glad to.)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Can't wait!

I am really looking forward to the few days off I'll get next week. We are heading to sunny Arizona for a wedding. We get in on Wednesday and fly out on Sunday. Thursday will be a day all to my self as the boys are going golfing for the bachelor party. Friday is the wedding and Saturday is Husband/wife day.

I was debating on if I should go or not and then I remember that with the baby coming soon, this will be the last time I get to leave the house for a while. So I thought I better hurry up and enjoy the vacation time before I don't get any.

So in the mean time, I have to pack for 3, and shop. I knew this was coming up for a while, but like every trip we take, I wait until the last minute to get ready. So Tuesday night, I'll pack the suitcases. I did think that maybe I should do the laundry this weekend, and maybe pick up the house so when we come back it's sort of clean. KM is having Uncle Leo over on Saturday. I told KM that we could make some cookies. I am secretly hoping he doesn't remember, but if he does it will be okay. I think Husband will be around so he can help.

Total side note: KM gets cuter everyday. This morning he told me, "Mom, you are really pregnant." I asked him what that means and he said "It means your belly is full."

I have big plans of writing more with all this alone time. I have 2 books I'm reading and am really into. So wish me luck. I have finally gotten my writing books (for lack of a better term) squared away. They are my books/journals that I write things down in. Before they were a mish-mash of a little bit of everything in every book. Now they actually have a PURPOSE, and each book has a TOPIC. I know, how very exciting for you to read about. Well, it will be one day when I finally get my crap together.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

You need a license to drive, but not to breed?!

Last night I had to go to a driving class. I was pulled over for speeding, and instead of making me pay the full ticket amount, they let me take a driving class. The class is 2 hours long and is $75.00. I'm sure the ticket would have been at least $130.00. Saved some money, but the nice part is after the class is over, as long as you stayed until the end, the shred your ticket and it doesn't go on your record. These are some of the comments I had to put up with during the 2 hours.

Stupid Human #1-So if you have whiskey plates can they pull you over?
Officer Butch -- If you are speeding, or something than yes we can pull you over. Do we pull you over just for having whiskey plates? No.
SH #1 -- Oh, really. You can still get pulled over with whiskey plates.
(This dumb ass thought that if you had whiskey plates, for some reason it gives you a year pass at not being pulled over).

SH #2 -- Did you know that in Arizona when you renew your license it's good for 30 years?
(This doesn't sound so stupid, until you know that we weren't even talking about licenses, or renewals or anything closely related. He just felt the need to tell everyone.)

SH #3 -- How come when you pull people over, you don't pull them over in to a parking lot or something?
(We were discussing the Tom Foss Law -- a law that protects officers who have people pulled over on the side of the road. It says, if there is a lane available, drivers MUST move over a lane to give the officer more room. Tom Foss was killed on the road side while he had someone pulled over.)
OB -- Um, because we are not driving the other vehicle.
SH #3 -- Well, why don't you tell them to pull over somewhere else.
OB -- Sometimes we are on the freeway and there isn't a parking lot, plus we don't have control over where they pull over.
SH #3 -- Cuz when I pull over, I pull WAY over, I mean like, WAY over to the side of the road, like in the ditch almost. I really mean WAY over. It just seems like it would be a good idea if you pulled them over somewhere else.
(What dip shit #3 doesn't quite get is that Officer Butch, or any officer is not actually driving the other car as well, so when someone pulls over to the side of the road, he doesn't' get to chose where they pull over.)

(Great, no one gives a rat's ass that you have seen this 30 second clip!)

SH #4 -- My son came home from school and they told him that if he gets pulled over and he has his cell phone on him, and it's in his pocket, but it's turned on, the officer can ask to see it and give him a ticket.
OB -- If we pull him over for something, we'll give him a ticket for that, we're not going to ask to see his cell phone. We can't prove that it was on or off. Plus we don't care. If he was taking on it, then we can ticket him for that because he's under 18.

I swear the dumber just keep getting dumber. I was ready to strangle someone at the end of the class. Did you all get together and see who could come up with the dumbest questions to ask during class to make it as miserable as possible?? The class really wouldn't have been bad without all the douche bags asking stupid questions and making stupid comments. Next time, I'll seriously consider paying the whole ticket, just to keep my sanity.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Could have been weird...

Growing up in a small town, everyone pretty much dated everyone, and if you didn't actually date them, then you knew all about their relationship anyways.

We went to a birthday party on Saturday and pregnancy brain is officially in force. Not for one second did I think about who would or would not be at the party. Well I really should have thought about it so that I was totally blindsided when we got there and realized that Husbands ex-girlfriend was there. They dated for about 6 years in high school and after -- but that was about 6 years ago. We can be polite people and not make a scene at a 3 year old's birthday party, so for the most part we steered clear of her. But man o' man was I happy that Husband decided to go to this party. Normally this is something I would do all on my own, and I'm okay with that. When we got there, I went to set the present down and Husband and KM went to play on the jungle gym. The birthday party was at the park. As he was walking up the hill, he thought to himself "Oh shit, Ex-Girlfriend his here." I was shortly behind him, and had the exact same thought when I saw her. I think she said hello to Husband, but ex-girlfriend and I didn't talk. We went back down the hill to eat and have cake, then afterwards back up the hill to play. I really think it was bugging her that I was there with him (Husband) and our wonderfully cute child, and pregnant. If she didn't think we were having sex before, now she KNOWS for sure.

We were such the cute family. Playing on the jungle gym, flying our kite, blowing bubbles, digging in the sand, riding the marry-go-round while Husband pushed us. It was disgusting how cute we were. And the whole time I think it was just reminding her that her husband was not there, and he was not as good as mine. {Petty much?! Yup, that's me.}

Then later after we left, I told Husband how glad I was that he came, and we talked about her for a minute. I thought she was married, but couldn't remember. I guess she is. Then we talked about her kid. Her daughter is cute enough I guess, but Husband said "she's not nearly as cute as ours." I busted out laughing because I was TOTALLY thinking the same thing at the park but would never say it out loud, at least not before someone else did. I know every parent thinks there kid is the cutest, but ours would totally win over hers! Yup, we are also shallow people.

I know life is not a competition, and I'm sure she's perfectly happy. But really I know she's not, because when she was leaving the party I heard her say she was going to drop off her daughter then she was going out to get drunk. That her husband was "on duty" or "in charge" for the night, and I could just tell by the tone in her voice that things were not that great.

When husband and I decide to get drunk because we need to drink to put up with KM some days, we drink together. We go out together. Some of our best conversations have been after a few cocktails, in our driveway at 1am after KM was in bed. I don't drink to get away from him, and I know he doesn't drink to get away from me.

It's just funny how life was so much more complicated back in high school than it is now. Ex-girlfriend always hated me because she thought I wanted Husband back then. It couldn't have been farther from the truth. I had a boyfriend and I was happy. Husband and I were just friends. It's just interesting how all these years later, we are married and happy and welcoming one more monkey to the group soon. I just never would have pictured this 6 years ago, but I am glad it's going this way, and can't wait to see where we go next.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

This is not what friends are for

We have these friends. The used to be good friends of ours, but now, not so much. They used to come over for dinner a few times a week. We used to have so much fun with them. But the more I started looking at our friendship, we were the ones doing everything. We always had to do the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, the paying. When they would come over for dinner the husband J, would sit on the couch at our house and watch TV. If we wanted to talk to him we had to go into the living room. My husband would run back and forth from the house to the garage to do the grilling. Never would J ask if he could help with anything, or even tag along to talk to Husband while he was grilling. Only after everything was done and it was about 5 minutes from eating would he say "do you need anything?"

Twice, I think, he made us Chef salads, he specialty. Mean while we were all in the kitchen helping and preparing. He was not the only one out there. I would not sit in the living room and watch TV while he did the cooking. We were all helping. But he would make sure to tell us a few times how much they had spent at the store on groceries.

His wife K was helpful when it came to dishes. She was not much of a cook, but would always sit in the kitchen and at the very least talk to me. She would help with what she could, or what I asked her to do. And she always did the dishes when we were done. She would volunteer to do them. It was a nice break, but J would head straight back to the couch.

He would also spend the better part of every evening putting my family down. What a bunch of "losers". He is friends with my brother (my brother was the best man in his wedding). He would hear things about my dad, and he would always have to put his 2 cents in, but it was never anything nice.

And then lately, we haven't been hanging out with them, but Husband did go on a trip with them. Most of the trip was good, except the last few days. J had to put Husband down and tell him that he doesn't know anything about building. Husband has been building since he was born pretty much. He has been working with his dad since he was about 11 or 12 and been doing it on his own since he was about 19. He knows more about building than J could ever possibly know, but J insist that he knows more. His famous words "what you don't realize is.....". Some how in J's existence (he's 27) he became and expert on EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. He knows more about building and laptops and buying houses and well everything than anyone else. He will tell you everything you need to know, even though he really doesn't have a clue. He doesn't even know the business he's in very well.

We had him help us with our yard last year when we put it in. It seemed like it would work out fairly well for us. He had a lot of equipment we could use, his mom owns a green house and we could re-pay it with work done on his house. But he ended up costing us money. When he went to measure for our sod (keep in mind, Husband and I have put in a yard before, we owned another house that needed sod and rock) and he ordered way to much. He had to use his fancy wheel measuring deal-y. I have no idea what they are called, but I think they are stupid and for lazy people. They are clearly not very accurate and if you use your brain and a survey, it would have been right on. He also had to have his nose in where we got it from. Even though we didn't ask him to. I had a place lined up with a good price for sod, and a deal on delivery. Instead they (J & K) had to call me and tell me where to get it how much it was and when they could deliver it. And, IT HAS TO BE ORDERED IN LIKE AN HOUR, so we could get delivery by Friday. So they ordered it at a higher price, with too much sod. In the end it cost us an extra $300.00 for the sod itself, the price difference between their guy and my guy and another $300.00 because he ordered too much that couldn't be used. With their help our yard cost us an extra $600.00. That would have paid for quite a bit of plants or part of the deck we want to put up. Great friends I know.

The point is, I'm tired of being friends with people who aren't putting as much effort in to the friendship as I am. I'm the only one that calls K, she NEVER calls me. I just don't feel like I'm getting that much out of chasing them. It's really a one sided friendship. I haven't talked to her in about a month. She's a great person, good listener and very flexible to what I want to do, but I just can't keep spending all this time on her when I don't get much back.

J is arrogant. He is smarter than everyone, just ask him, he'll tell you. He thinks he's such a big shot, but he doesn't have it all figured out. He treats his family like shit, and if it weren't for his dad, I don't know what he would do. He dad owns the company he works for, but J pretends to run it and then talks down to his dad like J was the one who built the company and doesn't even need his dad. It's irritating to listen to.

I guess, in my old age :), I've come to the realization that, I don't need people like that in my life. I don't need to keep them around, just because we have been friends for a while. I have other friends, Better friends. I'm okay with not hanging out with them. I'm okay taking to my other friends about my problems or whatever. I'm moving on.

Monday, March 31, 2008

He's so cute

Things KM has said to me in the past week:

This morning we walked outside and it was snowing, he said, "Look Mommy, the sparkles. The sparkles are in the sky."

Friday, March 21, he asked me if I would call the Easter Bunny.
I said sure, what do you want me to ask him.
He said, ask him if he'll fix our CARS (movie).
I said anything else?
He said, ask him if he'll fix our Lion King.
I said, it's not broken and doesn't need to be fixed.
Ok, then ask him if he'll fix our CARS and bring it to our house.(And luckily enough, that Easter Bunny, not only came to our house, he brought us a NEW CARS movie.)
I then picked up the phone to call Amma to see what time she would be over to pick up KM, she didn't answer so I just hung up and he asked me -- Mom, was that the Easter Bunny?
No, it was Amma.
Oh, you call the Easter Bunny.
I said I would later -- he was busy making Easter baskets.
Oh, ok.

Mom, I have to go with Grandpa. We have business to do.

This morning when the alarm went off, KM was sleeping in bed with me and he rolled over and hit the snooze button, but before that he made a huge groan. Like he had been waking up to this alarm clock, EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE AND HE JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! He is far to young to know that, that is what he has to look forward to.

Mommy, you have a little fat belly.
I asked him what I keep in there, mostly he says "a baby" with this weird mischievous tone and smile (like daddy doesn't know about it), but yesterday I asked him what I keep in there and he said "SNACKS".

KM Video

KM from about a year ago. My sister taped this. And since I am so computer savvy, and really into detail -- I rotated it for you. You're welcome. Ok, I'm just lazy and don't feel like it.

Enjoy! I have watched this about 50 times. He's just so darned cute!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I am not good at this

I am really no good at keeping up on this. Even though I think about it almost daily. Then I find something else that needs to be done and don't come back to make a post.

Life has been, well life lately. Nothing overly exciting going on. I am pregnant, which most people would find pretty exciting, I however, and keeping it low key for now. We've been through this before where it did not end well and I am trying not to get my hopes up. At least not just yet. Plus I have been feeling very yucky every night, and it's hard to be excited about that. Due at the end of July, right about Amma's birthday as a matter of fact. Guess I can cross "Buy Amma's birthday present" off my list!! Husband has been great. He takes good care of me when I feel like ASS. KM has been his normally cute self. He has his moments of driving me CRAZY, but then he tells me that I'm his best fwend and I guess I can forgive him one more time!

His latest thing is to tell me that I am a bad singer, and then ask me to sing him his favorite song, The Big Cow Song. So I do, because that's what mom's do.

We are in the middle of big life decisions that need to be made and we are having a very hard time with it. We know what we want to do, but there is always the money factor. We have a bit of time before we HAVE to decide, but it would be nice to be done and moved on with this before the baby arrives.

And as always, I am still hoping to write that book. I know seems silly, what do I have to write a book about? I think my life is sort of interesting and I have lived and learned a lesson or two about a couple of topics. But does that mean anyone else will want to read my book, or think it's worth publishing? And do I write all my stuff in one book, or could I be interesting enough for more than one book? And on top of all that, how would I even go about finding someone who wants to publish said book? And even if I did find someone who wants to publish it, since I am so fantastic at keeping up on the writing thing (ahem, see this blog), would I ever actually write it and be done with it? I guess I get my self sort of excited when I ready Stephanie's blog, Greek Tragedy. She is publishing her 2nd book and it will be out in May. It was only this past September I believe that she had finished with her rough draft. She makes it seems so simple and easy, and I think to my self, "I could do that." But, alas, here I am, not writing on this blog or on a book that I would hope one day to publish. So for now, I'll just keep keeping the notes that I have been and hopefully it will one day write it self in to a book.

Until that day happens, I'm going to once again, try harder to post more.