ASS

I feel like ass today. My friend Chooch thinks I'm in labor. I don't really think so, but will call the doctor later. I'll finish my post about KM another time and post it.

Until then, I'm hoping for death!

We're all a bunch of goonies

• She doesn't like to touch her own hair once it has fallen out of her head. It makes her gag.


• It drives him crazy if they forgot to deliver his mail.


• She doesn't like sharing a hand towel with her younger brother, but her husband is okay.


• He talks in terms of days, "I can't wait for 7-10 days until my credit card gets here!", "Has it been 7-10 days?"


• She will clean her bathroom once a week.


• He won't put his hands in the dirt, and doesn't like it when they have anything on them.


• She doesn't like to shower because she doesn't like wet hair.


• He'll shower a few times a day sometimes.


• She doesn't mind doing laundry, but hates putting the clothes away.


• She would rather load the dishwasher than unload it.


• He will be your best friend until he is threatened by you, then you are the dumbest person alive. You couldn't possibly know as much as he does.
• She will never call you unless you have called her first.
• He will complain about his steak because "it's not like I make at home."

(Writing style borrowed from Stephanie. If she wants me to remove this post, I'd be glad to.)

Can't wait!

I am really looking forward to the few days off I'll get next week. We are heading to sunny Arizona for a wedding. We get in on Wednesday and fly out on Sunday. Thursday will be a day all to my self as the boys are going golfing for the bachelor party. Friday is the wedding and Saturday is Husband/wife day.

I was debating on if I should go or not and then I remember that with the baby coming soon, this will be the last time I get to leave the house for a while. So I thought I better hurry up and enjoy the vacation time before I don't get any.

So in the mean time, I have to pack for 3, and shop. I knew this was coming up for a while, but like every trip we take, I wait until the last minute to get ready. So Tuesday night, I'll pack the suitcases. I did think that maybe I should do the laundry this weekend, and maybe pick up the house so when we come back it's sort of clean. KM is having Uncle Leo over on Saturday. I told KM that we could make some cookies. I am secretly hoping he doesn't remember, but if he does it will be okay. I think Husband will be around so he can help.


Total side note: KM gets cuter everyday. This morning he told me, "Mom, you are really pregnant." I asked him what that means and he said "It means your belly is full."


I have big plans of writing more with all this alone time. I have 2 books I'm reading and am really into. So wish me luck. I have finally gotten my writing books (for lack of a better term) squared away. They are my books/journals that I write things down in. Before they were a mish-mash of a little bit of everything in every book. Now they actually have a PURPOSE, and each book has a TOPIC. I know, how very exciting for you to read about. Well, it will be one day when I finally get my crap together.

You need a license to drive, but not to breed?!

Last night I had to go to a driving class. I was pulled over for speeding, and instead of making me pay the full ticket amount, they let me take a driving class. The class is 2 hours long and is $75.00. I'm sure the ticket would have been at least $130.00. Saved some money, but the nice part is after the class is over, as long as you stayed until the end, the shred your ticket and it doesn't go on your record. These are some of the comments I had to put up with during the 2 hours.

Stupid Human #1-So if you have whiskey plates can they pull you over?
Officer Butch -- If you are speeding, or something than yes we can pull you over. Do we pull you over just for having whiskey plates? No.
SH #1 -- Oh, really. You can still get pulled over with whiskey plates.
(This dumb ass thought that if you had whiskey plates, for some reason it gives you a year pass at not being pulled over).

SH #2 -- Did you know that in Arizona when you renew your license it's good for 30 years?
(This doesn't sound so stupid, until you know that we weren't even talking about licenses, or renewals or anything closely related. He just felt the need to tell everyone.)

SH #3 -- How come when you pull people over, you don't pull them over in to a parking lot or something?
(We were discussing the Tom Foss Law -- a law that protects officers who have people pulled over on the side of the road. It says, if there is a lane available, drivers MUST move over a lane to give the officer more room. Tom Foss was killed on the road side while he had someone pulled over.)
OB -- Um, because we are not driving the other vehicle.
SH #3 -- Well, why don't you tell them to pull over somewhere else.
OB -- Sometimes we are on the freeway and there isn't a parking lot, plus we don't have control over where they pull over.
SH #3 -- Cuz when I pull over, I pull WAY over, I mean like, WAY over to the side of the road, like in the ditch almost. I really mean WAY over. It just seems like it would be a good idea if you pulled them over somewhere else.
(What dip shit #3 doesn't quite get is that Officer Butch, or any officer is not actually driving the other car as well, so when someone pulls over to the side of the road, he doesn't' get to chose where they pull over.)

SH #3 (again) -- {Really loud} I'VE SEEN THIS ONE, THE GUY ENDS UP IN THE BACKSEAT.
(Great, no one gives a rat's ass that you have seen this 30 second clip!)

SH #4 -- My son came home from school and they told him that if he gets pulled over and he has his cell phone on him, and it's in his pocket, but it's turned on, the officer can ask to see it and give him a ticket.
OB -- If we pull him over for something, we'll give him a ticket for that, we're not going to ask to see his cell phone. We can't prove that it was on or off. Plus we don't care. If he was taking on it, then we can ticket him for that because he's under 18.

I swear the dumber just keep getting dumber. I was ready to strangle someone at the end of the class. Did you all get together and see who could come up with the dumbest questions to ask during class to make it as miserable as possible?? The class really wouldn't have been bad without all the douche bags asking stupid questions and making stupid comments. Next time, I'll seriously consider paying the whole ticket, just to keep my sanity.

Could have been weird...

Growing up in a small town, everyone pretty much dated everyone, and if you didn't actually date them, then you knew all about their relationship anyways.

We went to a birthday party on Saturday and pregnancy brain is officially in force. Not for one second did I think about who would or would not be at the party. Well I really should have thought about it so that I was totally blindsided when we got there and realized that Husbands ex-girlfriend was there. They dated for about 6 years in high school and after -- but that was about 6 years ago. We can be polite people and not make a scene at a 3 year old's birthday party, so for the most part we steered clear of her. But man o' man was I happy that Husband decided to go to this party. Normally this is something I would do all on my own, and I'm okay with that. When we got there, I went to set the present down and Husband and KM went to play on the jungle gym. The birthday party was at the park. As he was walking up the hill, he thought to himself "Oh shit, Ex-Girlfriend his here." I was shortly behind him, and had the exact same thought when I saw her. I think she said hello to Husband, but ex-girlfriend and I didn't talk. We went back down the hill to eat and have cake, then afterwards back up the hill to play. I really think it was bugging her that I was there with him (Husband) and our wonderfully cute child, and pregnant. If she didn't think we were having sex before, now she KNOWS for sure.

We were such the cute family. Playing on the jungle gym, flying our kite, blowing bubbles, digging in the sand, riding the marry-go-round while Husband pushed us. It was disgusting how cute we were. And the whole time I think it was just reminding her that her husband was not there, and he was not as good as mine. {Petty much?! Yup, that's me.}

Then later after we left, I told Husband how glad I was that he came, and we talked about her for a minute. I thought she was married, but couldn't remember. I guess she is. Then we talked about her kid. Her daughter is cute enough I guess, but Husband said "she's not nearly as cute as ours." I busted out laughing because I was TOTALLY thinking the same thing at the park but would never say it out loud, at least not before someone else did. I know every parent thinks there kid is the cutest, but ours would totally win over hers! Yup, we are also shallow people.

I know life is not a competition, and I'm sure she's perfectly happy. But really I know she's not, because when she was leaving the party I heard her say she was going to drop off her daughter then she was going out to get drunk. That her husband was "on duty" or "in charge" for the night, and I could just tell by the tone in her voice that things were not that great.

When husband and I decide to get drunk because we need to drink to put up with KM some days, we drink together. We go out together. Some of our best conversations have been after a few cocktails, in our driveway at 1am after KM was in bed. I don't drink to get away from him, and I know he doesn't drink to get away from me.

It's just funny how life was so much more complicated back in high school than it is now. Ex-girlfriend always hated me because she thought I wanted Husband back then. It couldn't have been farther from the truth. I had a boyfriend and I was happy. Husband and I were just friends. It's just interesting how all these years later, we are married and happy and welcoming one more monkey to the group soon. I just never would have pictured this 6 years ago, but I am glad it's going this way, and can't wait to see where we go next.

This is not what friends are for

We have these friends. The used to be good friends of ours, but now, not so much. They used to come over for dinner a few times a week. We used to have so much fun with them. But the more I started looking at our friendship, we were the ones doing everything. We always had to do the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, the paying. When they would come over for dinner the husband J, would sit on the couch at our house and watch TV. If we wanted to talk to him we had to go into the living room. My husband would run back and forth from the house to the garage to do the grilling. Never would J ask if he could help with anything, or even tag along to talk to Husband while he was grilling. Only after everything was done and it was about 5 minutes from eating would he say "do you need anything?"

Twice, I think, he made us Chef salads, he specialty. Mean while we were all in the kitchen helping and preparing. He was not the only one out there. I would not sit in the living room and watch TV while he did the cooking. We were all helping. But he would make sure to tell us a few times how much they had spent at the store on groceries.

His wife K was helpful when it came to dishes. She was not much of a cook, but would always sit in the kitchen and at the very least talk to me. She would help with what she could, or what I asked her to do. And she always did the dishes when we were done. She would volunteer to do them. It was a nice break, but J would head straight back to the couch.

He would also spend the better part of every evening putting my family down. What a bunch of "losers". He is friends with my brother (my brother was the best man in his wedding). He would hear things about my dad, and he would always have to put his 2 cents in, but it was never anything nice.

And then lately, we haven't been hanging out with them, but Husband did go on a trip with them. Most of the trip was good, except the last few days. J had to put Husband down and tell him that he doesn't know anything about building. Husband has been building since he was born pretty much. He has been working with his dad since he was about 11 or 12 and been doing it on his own since he was about 19. He knows more about building than J could ever possibly know, but J insist that he knows more. His famous words "what you don't realize is.....". Some how in J's existence (he's 27) he became and expert on EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. He knows more about building and laptops and buying houses and well everything than anyone else. He will tell you everything you need to know, even though he really doesn't have a clue. He doesn't even know the business he's in very well.

We had him help us with our yard last year when we put it in. It seemed like it would work out fairly well for us. He had a lot of equipment we could use, his mom owns a green house and we could re-pay it with work done on his house. But he ended up costing us money. When he went to measure for our sod (keep in mind, Husband and I have put in a yard before, we owned another house that needed sod and rock) and he ordered way to much. He had to use his fancy wheel measuring deal-y. I have no idea what they are called, but I think they are stupid and for lazy people. They are clearly not very accurate and if you use your brain and a survey, it would have been right on. He also had to have his nose in where we got it from. Even though we didn't ask him to. I had a place lined up with a good price for sod, and a deal on delivery. Instead they (J & K) had to call me and tell me where to get it how much it was and when they could deliver it. And, IT HAS TO BE ORDERED IN LIKE AN HOUR, so we could get delivery by Friday. So they ordered it at a higher price, with too much sod. In the end it cost us an extra $300.00 for the sod itself, the price difference between their guy and my guy and another $300.00 because he ordered too much that couldn't be used. With their help our yard cost us an extra $600.00. That would have paid for quite a bit of plants or part of the deck we want to put up. Great friends I know.

The point is, I'm tired of being friends with people who aren't putting as much effort in to the friendship as I am. I'm the only one that calls K, she NEVER calls me. I just don't feel like I'm getting that much out of chasing them. It's really a one sided friendship. I haven't talked to her in about a month. She's a great person, good listener and very flexible to what I want to do, but I just can't keep spending all this time on her when I don't get much back.

J is arrogant. He is smarter than everyone, just ask him, he'll tell you. He thinks he's such a big shot, but he doesn't have it all figured out. He treats his family like shit, and if it weren't for his dad, I don't know what he would do. He dad owns the company he works for, but J pretends to run it and then talks down to his dad like J was the one who built the company and doesn't even need his dad. It's irritating to listen to.

I guess, in my old age :), I've come to the realization that, I don't need people like that in my life. I don't need to keep them around, just because we have been friends for a while. I have other friends, Better friends. I'm okay with not hanging out with them. I'm okay taking to my other friends about my problems or whatever. I'm moving on.