Monday, July 07, 2008

Oh Baby

So here it is a whole week later and I am still just as tired. I swear, it feels like I haven't slept in days. KM crawled into bed last night around 2 am. He is such a little bed pig. For being only 3 feet tall, he takes up the room of a giant man. I love to snuggle with him this is why I don't leave and go to sleep on the couch. But I really should have. I get much better sleep. I guess it's because I feel guilty that soon there will be a new baby and if he does come to sleep with us, there will be less room, or he won't be allowed at all to sleep there. I haven't decided what I'll do yet. Plus, I'll have less time for him and I'm trying to soak up as much KM time as I can.

I went to the DR last week and finally got some answers as to what I should do. I was hoping that a VBAC was an option, but with the litter I am carrying, they suggest that I do a repeat c-section. I guess that's fine too. It's nice to know one way or the other. They are measuring her at 8 lbs, +/- 9 oz. Still, she's a fatty. Or I mean, healthy baby girl. So the clock is ticking and I don't feel all that ready. I have diapers, and clothes and wipes. Husband finally built a changing table and her corner is mostly done. But I guess it's because Husband and I can't decide on a name. I have one I like and he has one he likes and they are similar, but we have not agreed. We also don't have a third name that we both like. With KM, he had a name, I had a name and we had a compromise name that we both liked. Not the case this time.

So it looks like it's down to about 2 weeks and Butch (this is what KM calls her) will be here. I suppose I better hurry up and get ready. I have been trying to plan ahead a little with meals and supplies for around the house, but it seems like everytime I cross something off my list of "that will make life easier", I come up with 3 more to add to it to get done before then. No matter what I'll never be ready. But lucky for me, my mom has a bunch of time off and is going to take some and come and help me. Plus Husband will be around, and my aunt has offered to come and help. I suppose I could just give up a little control over everything and let them (KM and Husband) fend for themselves a bit. Husband, when given the chance always steps up to the plate and makes it work. It's just that I rarely give him the chance.

Maybe my problem is, I like things the way they are, even though I really want another baby. I'm sort of feeling like things will never be this great again. KM is so very cute and wonderful, and once she's here, EVERYTHING will be different and I'm really hoping that is doesn't change him. I don't want him to be jealous or feel neglected. I have this feeling that once she's here, even though he's very excited, he'll be a different kid. I guess that's just how it goes and we'll roll with it.

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