This morning I yelled at KM. I mean really lost my temper and yelled at him. To be honest, I was provoked. We were driving to day care, and out of no where, he whips his sippy cup at me. With out even thinking, I turned around and yelled "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Then I slapped his hand and told him that he was going to get a spanking. And you know what he did? He didn't cry or laugh or seem scared at all, he made this GRRRing sound.
Which this just proves to me, that I am in fact (and going to admit it here) a bad mother. I'm the mother who yells at their kid too much, so much in fact that when I do yell, it doesn't even phase him. I have been short on patience lately and taking it out on him. I know, I should not be doing that. I have tried, walked away when he gets my blood boiling because he will not get out of bed. Instead of yelling, I tried going to the kitchen to get his milk so it would be ready. Then I come back and he still will not get out of bed, so I go and put my shoes on and he will still not get out of bed. Then I spend some time getting his clothes together and yet still he will NOT GET OUT OF BED. I usually try to wake him up slowly, so he has time to get going in the morning with out having to hit the ground running, but he does it to test me. I know what he's doing and it's driving me crazy. The only thing that will get him out of bed is for me to pretend that I'm leaving with out him. I'll admit, I've done this a few times and I'm not proud of it. I don't want him to ever think that I would leave him behind. But desperate times call for desperate measures I guess. I have been racking my brain for a better way but nothing. So until I can come up with something better, I guess I'll have to keep pretending that I will leave him behind. Nothing like adding to the damage that I have already done.