Monday, September 10, 2007

Welcome back...

It's been a rather long time since I posted anything here, and yet, I find myself with little to say. We have been busy, and KM is as cute as ever, but still.... Maybe I am being lazy and don't want to type it, or maybe it's just not that interesting to anyone else.

For the first time in a long time Husband and I had a drunken weekend together. We went back to our home town and watched a volleyball tournament, and got drunk. It was so much fun to see all of our old friends. I feel like we never left, yet I feel like we have been gone for 10 years. Funny how that can happen. We swapped old war stories of who got the most drunk, who was the most high and who got the craziest. I won none of the titles. But it was fun to laugh and reminisce. Yet I find myself so happy we moved away. Away from the bullshit, and the cliche's, and the blaming everyone else for your problems. I sometimes want to move back to our home town, and then I visit it, and I remember what I hate most about it. Everyone is still stuck in highschool and for me, that was 7 years ago. Grow up already. Move out of your parents house, get a job, support yourself and be an adult.

My husbands mother is dying, and I can't find a lot of compassion for her. He doesn't really give a shit either. But you would have to know that before last Christmas, he hadn't seen her in probably 10 years, or talked to her in almost that long too. She did a lot of drugs while pregnant with him, he should be alive, or even a fuctioning human. But he is sharp as a tack and super smart. I have met his mother one time, last Christmas. Her dying wish is to see the 3 of us, Husband, KM and I. I really don't want to go, I don't even know her. Husband doesn't want to go either, but knows that he really should. When we did go visit her, I left my phone number to call us. When she did call, which was very often, the only thing she asked for was either money or for us to bring her cigarettes. That was about the only thing she would call for. It got so irritating, that I stopped answering her calls. Husband doesn't really even know her, but is fearing the big regret of life if he doesn't go to see her. I just don't really know how to handle this and still be a good wife. I feel like she didn't really give a shit about him in his lifetime, so why should we give a shit about her now. But that's not very nice, is it?? No matter what KM will never know who she is, or have any kind of bond with her. I don't want to spend my time getting to know someone who will die soon, and wasn't that great of a person to start with. But, again, that's not very nice, is it? I just need to suck it up and play nice for now. Soon it will be a memory and I won't have to think about it any more.

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