Tuesday, February 06, 2007

What's Love got to do with it?

I have been wondering lately, what is Love? I read other blogs (Dooce, Greek Tragedy) and they talk about love and how their husbands are their whole life, and they are just SO IN LOVE with them. I have been married to my husband for 3 1/2 years, and the only time I felt like that was when we were first dating. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but why doesn't it feel like that can't keep your hands off of him, couldn't live my life with out him, couldn't make it through a day with out him? He is wonderful! He can fix things around the house, and he is great with the Kermit and he loves me, he makes dinner and does the laundry. He even buys great presents for holidays. He is the whole package. But is there something wrong with me that I don't feel like I couldn't go on with out him? I know things would be tough if he weren't there, but I would get by.

Maybe that's what makes me-- well me. I am a strong person and I know how to pick myself up and dust myself off when I fall down. There's be not such good times and the thought has crossed my mind about a divorce. I always realize that it's something stupid we are fighting over and it's not worth breaking up a family for, so we try a little harder and things get better. But it wouldn't be the end of the world. I know it would be hard to replace him. He just gets me and knows me so well. Maybe this is MY post about how much I love my husband but I just don't shout it from the roof tops. Maybe he is my other half, my better half, the half that helps me see all the good in life and stop to play with the baby when all I want to do take a nap or watch TV. He makes me realize that everyday the Kermit gets older and I should play with him more. He wants to be a better dad and a better husband EVERYDAY. Maybe I love him just as much as everyone else loves their husband, but I don't know how to say it or show it. Maybe when I wash his jeans it's the same as some sappy card. Maybe that's how I say I love, by buying him his favorite candy and the new Strawberry Milk he wanted to try. I don't cry on his shoulder and when I do he gets uncomfortable and makes me laugh, which is really what I needed anyway.

He wants the cut the Kermit's hair and I have been putting it off for as long as I can. He tries to get me to go every weekend for the last 2 months, but when I resist, he doesn't push too hard. He knows what a big deal it is to me. He makes it a joke and one day soon, we'll cut it, but not until I am ready and he just gets that.

Maybe love has nothing to do with it and it's just about the perfect fit for 2 people. Maybe it's more of a personality match, than true love. Or maybe it's because I love him so much that it makes it all right in the world. Or maybe LOVE has EVERYTHING to do with it and that's why we try so hard everyday to make it the best day in our family.

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