Broken

Lately KM has taken to telling us that his arms and legs are broken. He won't do anything that he is told, at least not the first time he is asked.

KM can you go and get your jammies on?

My arms and wegs are broken. (Shit eating grin, slides across face.)

Ok then, how about I set you outside in the rain and we'll see if you can get back inside.

Ok I'll go put them on.

It's his first excuse for anything and everything he doesn't want to do. He can't eat his dinner, he can't get ready for bed, he can give me a hug and a kiss.

Sunday it was frustrating me to no end (well, he was all day, not just the comments). Finally I looked at Amma and asked where does he get this stuff? Where did he learn that? She said, probably us, and the light bulb went on. WE. WE taught him that. We are the ones who ask him if his legs are broken when he doesn't do what he's told to do the second he's told to do it. We are the ones who ask if his arms are broken when he won't hug me. We are the idiots that put those ideas in his head.

It's funny to watch him too when he says it. You know he's full of bullshit. He's clearly standing there on non-broken legs, usually holding something in his non-broken arms, telling me with a shit eating grin sliding across his face, in a tone of I Really Wish I Could Help You Out But I Have To Wash My Hair. But my arms and wegs are broken. So since we are being outlandish, I try to come up with the most outlandish thing I can think of too. "Then I will ship you to the moon, and leave you there." Of course he always starts laughing, I tend to be a bit sarcastic anyways. "You're dist kidding." Yup, buddy, I'm just kidding. I will ship you to the moon and leave you there, but I'll probably come and visit. Maybe. At the very least I'll send your blankie with.

It's Raining It's Pouring The Old Man is Snoring... (otherwise known as I Can't Concentrate)

This morning on my way to work (WAY behind because of stupid daylight savings time) I was singing this song. The way I sing in: He bumped his head on an OLD LOG Bed and couldn't get up in the morning. The way KM sings it: He bumped his head on A Bed, and couldn't get up in the morning. Not really that different, but KM would not let me continue to sing it my way. I had to change the words to his way. He was admit about it. He can be so stubborn sometimes.

I have done nearly nothing today at work. It's hard to concentrate with the snow falling, then not falling, then check the weather, then see if it snowed more, then I'm hungry, check the radar etc. We are in the business of snow plowing so when a storm is coming, we mostly spend our day waiting for it to get here so we can plow it away. Plus the big project I need to get done this week is on hold until tomorrow as I need to round up some paperwork to complete it.

Pulled in to get gas this morning and KM tells me: Another day, Another dollar. I asked him where he learned that, well of course Sponge Bob.

I have also been hitting REFRESH on Dooce's website, about a hundred times between yesterday and today. She was suppose to be on the Today show. I missed it on TV and couldn't find the link on their website, so I'm waiting for her to post it on hers. Can you say STOCKER? Yep, thank you very much.

We watched the new show CASTLE last night. It was much better than I thought it would be. I actually really go in to it. I hate to start watching new shows. At the rate they stick around these days, it seems like such a waste of time. I was a big fan of Dirty Sexy Money. GONE. I'm a big fan of Lie To Me*. I hope this sticks around too. But chances are it won't because stupid people like stupid reality shows. Don't get me wrong, I like my fair share of them too, but there are lots of good shows out there with actual writers instead of idiots trying to get their 15 minutes of shame, I mean fame.

Guess I should go and plan my escape. It's too early to leave for the day, but I'm going to think of a reason to do just that. Don't really feel like working. We'll see how this ends up.

Shh Don't Talk About It

Last night Husband and I had some beers with our neighbor. He came over to help Husband install the plow on the Ranger. It was 1.30am before we went to bed. I don't even know where to start this. Husband all of a sudden, gets really weird and starts talking about how we never have sex unless he initiates it, that I never come on to him, how he feels like the hired hand. He said he's done trying. He'll still go to work and provide for the family, but he's done trying to be a husband. It's interesting too, how out of no where he brings this up. He doesn't stop talking long enough for our neighbor to ask him any questions, and he talks about me like I'm not even there, even though I was sitting less than 2 ft from him. I didn't say anything, because 1) he doesn't listen when I try to talk. Especially when he gets in martyr mode. 2) he doesn't really care what I have to say. He knows that he has it so rough, and he works so hard. I'm not saying he doesn't work hard, but SO DO I! He is the only one who deserves some time off, or time away. The reason I don't initiate sex with him is because that is the ONLY time he every even touches me is when he wants sex. He will never hold my hand, doesn't really sit by me on the couch, doesn't EVER touch me, until it's time for sex. Kind of makes me feel like I'm not good enough other wise. I try to explain to him that I don't like the way I look since having 2 kids, and that I'm self conscience. He tells me you look fine, so what, but then on the other hand never pays any attention to me. Which makes me think that he's also unhappy with how I look, but just won't say it. It's hard to want to be intimate with him when he could really care less about me. It's just so frustrating. And OH MY GOD if we try to talk about anything, he won't. He will either talk about it for a minute then ignore anything I have to say because only he is allowed to feel used, or he'll get angry and walk away so we never talk about anything. He'll never hear me out, hear my feelings, hear what it is that I have to say about anything. Sometimes, I feel like the damn nanny, more than a wife, but do I complain about it, NO, I try to be a better mom and wife, and realize it's just one day. Tomorrow will probably be better. I don't sit around and sulk about it. All I want is for him to realize that he's not the only one in the family and that some times I get frustrated too, and know what THAT'S OKAY. I'm allowed to be frustrated. So I guess for now, we'll sweep it under the rug once again and not talk about it. I'm tired of trying too, but DAMN IT we married for better, for worse, and sometimes we need to stick together to get through shit. Today, I feel like I'm going it alone.

The King and The Queen

KM has adjusted so very well to have the Queen Monkey around. He is not jealous or mean. He is so very sweet to her. He loves having the job of being "in charge." We race to see who can give her "all the kisses." It's his job to tell me when she cries (even if I can hear her). Today he was barking orders for someone to "put the nookie in!" He knows that being a big brother is a very important job. He knows it's his job to teach her things. When she cries, he sings to her, usually the ABC's. I think he has even been teaching her how to suck her thumb. I just know she'll be a thumb baby. When she was about a week old, she managed to find her thumb into her mouth, but since then she has been sucking on her hand a ton. He smothers her in kisses. He is so gentle. Two days ago he held her and gave her a bottle. I don't think in my whole life I have ever seen someone so proud of something. I don't think I'll ever see that look again. You could see on his face that he knew he was doing an important thing. You could see the love he has for his sister. They will be the best of friends and the worst of enemies at times, but I will never forget that moment. They were bonding and it melts my heart. I catch him talking to her all the time. He sings her Old McDonald Had a Farm and tells her stories. He will teach her so many things and they will get in to lots of trouble. But I can't wait for the ride. He will protect her and threatend to beat up people who are mean to her. He will teach her to be tough and how to play baseball. He will help her learn to crawl and then walk. He'll pick her up when she falls down. He will hug her when she cries. I couldn't ask for a better big brother for her and I know she will feel the same.

Random Weekend

Today was one of those days that needed to happen around here. I had been neglecting the laundry, the dishes, the house cleaning. We had a busy week last week, and I just couldn't bring myself to do the mundane. So today was catch up day. KM and I came home from staying at Amma's and got to work. We even had time to make killer meatloaf. Even after all of the house cleaning, I still couldn't get Husband to say something nice about it. I had to ask him if he liked it. This drives me crazy. I don't need big production, but a simple, Thanks for doing that, or the house looks good, would have been nice. Plus I was watching 2 kids all day while I had to try and get it done. Lucky for me KM was a HUGE help. He likes to be a big helper and do "chores."

He is the super cutes big brother. He is constantly kissing and hugging her telling her "you're so sweet." Friday I called Amma to talk, but asked KM if he wanted to talk to his sister (she was squirming and making some noise so he could hear her). I put the phone up to her, and he was on the other line, she started to cry, so I pulled the phone away so I could pick her up and I could hear him on the other line "It's okay, It's okay." He was saying it in the most soothing voice, just like I would say it.

There was also a bit of drama this weekend with one of our friends B and his girlfriend. She tried to kill herself, but really I think it was huge attention getter. The worst part of the whole thing, she did it while her 3 year old son was in the house with her. I have NO time for people who do shit like this. If you want to kill yourself, go ahead. But are you not smart enough to think about your son first?! It's a bunch of shit, a bunch of drama, and I kind of think the reason she needed so much attention was because our friend was smoking. Because this is the kind of thing you kill yourself over. I wasn't there, and I haven't talked to her, but I know she is a bit of a drama queen and a control freak. This had nothing to do with, ending her life because she couldn't take it anymore, and everything to do with "B will realize how much he loves me and change his ways when he sees what it's like to almost lose me." I'm just irritated with the whole situation. I think she deserves to lose her son. I don't know if he would be better off in another home, just because it's a lot of adjustment for a 3 year old, but people like her don't deserve to have kids. At the very least, her parents should get him. I'm done with her. B I'll still talk to, but her, she just lost a friend. People who are that self centered deserve everything they get in life, and what she just got was one less friend and client.

What's next, dating??

Yesterday KM took Amma's phone and started running away. She said "Get back here with that!"

His answer, "NO I'M TEXTING!!"

(He's 3 and a half.)

Then later we asked him what Texting means, he said something about monsters, and Amma.

KM has a random thought patern

Things he said today:

Mommy my brain hurts.
I want my hair back! What hair I asked him? The hair they cut off last time!
I'm gonna give the baby all the kisses.
She's wide open mom. (means she is awake.)

Life according to KM

"Pregnant means you ate your baby."

Amma asked him how does the baby get out -- "When she's done cooking, she comes out."

"Mommy, I had a good sleep."

KM picked out a onesie for the baby and I asked him what it said on the front. He held it really close to his face and said, "Dear shirt for the baby."

KM was eatting treats with Amma at our house and told her that he had to eat ALL the treats so he could get a big belly like mommies.

"Mommy, you're the sweetest mommy." (I had turned on cartoons for him.)

"Mommy, you're such a good mommy." (I had got up at 6am to put in CARS for him."

Rain Rain Go Away -- Hail Hail Come Today!

This is my goofy monkey. He's explaining what Uncle Jake does when you put the 'snow balls' in his shirt. Memorial weekend we got a big hail storm at home. Most people hate it when bad weather comes their way. Husband on the other hand was praying for more. With every 'snow ball' that hit the ground we heard Cha-Ching! Insurance work is good for construction companies.

We had a lot of fun watch KM after the storm passed and he was out in the yard. He kept picking them up and putting them in people's shirts or pants. He thought it was so very funny to watch them wiggle and giggle.

I like the last picture. KM decided to dress himself before he went outside. He needed a 'coat' so he put on a short sleeved hawaiian shirt! Plus he has his boots on with shorts. He is so very cute.

OOOO-BOOB

OOOOOO (as in OOOO, AAHHH) - BOOB -- this is KM's word for boobs, mine, daddy's or his. One day I was putting him in the truck and he tells me, "Mommy, you hurt my oooo-boob." I almost tipped over from laughing. Where does he come up with this stuff? This morning I was holding him on my lap telling him that we needed to get going and he pulls out my shirt at the neck and looks down it. "Mommy, you don't have no oooo-boobs." Then he reached his hand down it and started laughing -- "OOOO-BOOB!" He's such a goonie-heimer!

Maybe that's where he gets it! Amma and I are constantly making up words for things. Ish-ta-la-gook-a-la -- Amma's word for a dirty diper, or doopa's -- as in "we need to change your doopa's" (also a poopy diaper). However, I can't take credit for this one, Vicki claims the rights to this. Goonie-toonie -- pretty much anytime I don't really know what to say to him, I make up a new word. Which is a lot of fun when he tries to repeat them.

Yesterday we opened my Mother's day present, and I got a Cram-er-a. That's right a Cram-er-a. On our way home he asked me if we were going to stop and get sss-ram-riches, smam-rich, sam-rich -- no matter how you cut it, he can not say sandwich, and I think it's hilarious. I ask him all the time about sandwiches so that he'll say it.

I love the way he says everything lately, both in pronunciation and in general talking. He wants to talk about EVERYTHING. We can have a 10 minute discussion on why the tree has nuts on it. He asks a lot of why questions lately and I'm trying to give him actual answers, instead of "I don't know." But some days my mind doesn't work, so then I make something up. Or I tell him to ask someone else, daddy, Amma, Vicki. One day he'll stop talking to me, so I'll miss this stage. Man O Man do I love that kid!

He's so cute

Things KM has said to me in the past week:

This morning we walked outside and it was snowing, he said, "Look Mommy, the sparkles. The sparkles are in the sky."

Friday, March 21, he asked me if I would call the Easter Bunny.
I said sure, what do you want me to ask him.
He said, ask him if he'll fix our CARS (movie).
I said anything else?
He said, ask him if he'll fix our Lion King.
I said, it's not broken and doesn't need to be fixed.
Ok, then ask him if he'll fix our CARS and bring it to our house.(And luckily enough, that Easter Bunny, not only came to our house, he brought us a NEW CARS movie.)
I then picked up the phone to call Amma to see what time she would be over to pick up KM, she didn't answer so I just hung up and he asked me -- Mom, was that the Easter Bunny?
No, it was Amma.
Oh, you call the Easter Bunny.
I said I would later -- he was busy making Easter baskets.
Oh, ok.

Mom, I have to go with Grandpa. We have business to do.

This morning when the alarm went off, KM was sleeping in bed with me and he rolled over and hit the snooze button, but before that he made a huge groan. Like he had been waking up to this alarm clock, EVERY DAY OF HIS LIFE AND HE JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! He is far to young to know that, that is what he has to look forward to.

Mommy, you have a little fat belly.
I asked him what I keep in there, mostly he says "a baby" with this weird mischievous tone and smile (like daddy doesn't know about it), but yesterday I asked him what I keep in there and he said "SNACKS".

KM Video

KM from about a year ago. My sister taped this. And since I am so computer savvy, and really into detail -- I rotated it for you. You're welcome. Ok, I'm just lazy and don't feel like it.

Enjoy! I have watched this about 50 times. He's just so darned cute!!

Mother of the Year -- Not Me

This morning I yelled at KM. I mean really lost my temper and yelled at him. To be honest, I was provoked. We were driving to day care, and out of no where, he whips his sippy cup at me. With out even thinking, I turned around and yelled "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Then I slapped his hand and told him that he was going to get a spanking. And you know what he did? He didn't cry or laugh or seem scared at all, he made this GRRRing sound.

Which this just proves to me, that I am in fact (and going to admit it here) a bad mother. I'm the mother who yells at their kid too much, so much in fact that when I do yell, it doesn't even phase him. I have been short on patience lately and taking it out on him. I know, I should not be doing that. I have tried, walked away when he gets my blood boiling because he will not get out of bed. Instead of yelling, I tried going to the kitchen to get his milk so it would be ready. Then I come back and he still will not get out of bed, so I go and put my shoes on and he will still not get out of bed. Then I spend some time getting his clothes together and yet still he will NOT GET OUT OF BED. I usually try to wake him up slowly, so he has time to get going in the morning with out having to hit the ground running, but he does it to test me. I know what he's doing and it's driving me crazy. The only thing that will get him out of bed is for me to pretend that I'm leaving with out him. I'll admit, I've done this a few times and I'm not proud of it. I don't want him to ever think that I would leave him behind. But desperate times call for desperate measures I guess. I have been racking my brain for a better way but nothing. So until I can come up with something better, I guess I'll have to keep pretending that I will leave him behind. Nothing like adding to the damage that I have already done.

I can't get there from here

I just can't keep on top of this blog thing. I would really like to write everyday. But I just can't get there from here. I also would really like to write a book. That is just not going to happen any time soon, if my writing keeps up at this pace. Blog for a few days then off for a month. Never gonna happen at this rate.

KM has never been cuter. This morning he was telling me that I wasn't his best fwend. That daddy was his best fwend. And when I asked him how come I couldn't be his best fwend, he said because daddy's his best fwend. Then about 2 minutes later, he had changed his mind, and guess what mommy?! You can be my best fwend! Oh I can? Yes you can be my best fwend, and daddy's my best fwend too!

I love these conversations. They are about nothing, but so much at the same time.

Yesterday they went on a nature walk for "school" time at daycare. They learned about the leaves, and the different colors. The neighbor was nice enough to talk to them about the deer that come and eat his apples and rub up against the tree. KM stood there and listened intently. He was sucking his thumb and rubbing the cuff of his shirt. I hate that I miss things like this. I know we can go on our own walks and do our own things. I guess it just makes me think of how I would really like to be at home with him. I like my job, most days. And it helps to pay the bills, and some days I just can't deal with him. But I think overall, I would really like to be a stay at home mom.

For now, we'll just keep doing what we're doing. In the mean time, maybe I can get some writing done. Maybe....

KM new words

5/23/07

• Beggy Ache -- Belly Ache


• You pitty's? -- Are those your pretty's (hair things)?


• Fordy Wee-were -- 4 Wheeler


• Daddy some pot corn too? -- He was lying, saying Dad wanted some more popcorn, when really it was KM who wanted more.


• I Muss Oooo Amma -- I miss you Amma.


• Gampa, Gupa, Papa JB, Gampa Mark -- there are all differnt people


• Me some too? -- Can I have some?


• Damn It! -- Well, what can I say, he's a quick learner! This is used in correct context of when you would actually shout it.


• Backhoe at Rogers house -- Our friend had there backhoe over at our house, and then moved it to the town of Rogers, KM calls it Roger's house, we even stop by on the way home and see him work at "Rogers house"


• Bobtat -- bobcat, he can drive all by himself, just needs to sit on someone's lap to reach the controls.

• ****** UPDATED ******** 6/8/07
• You break you teeth daddy, You get a new one?!
• Dat's enough?
• Can't see ober der -- I can't see over there.
• I did -- KM, you need to eat your dinner, his standard answer, "I did". Do you have stinkin pants -- "I did".

New car you say --- It's yours!

Kermit, I know you are only 23 months and 15 days, but if you want a new car, it's yours. Or a new toy, or a trip to Disney World, ALL YOURS. Actually anything you can think of, you can have it. After last night, I am at your service and forever will be. On the ride home last night, out of no where and with no prompting from me, you blurted out from the back seat, "I wuv you mommy." For no other apparent reason, than you actually do "Wuv Me". You also said it to daddy when we got home. But when I asked you to repeat it to daddy later on, you just kept saying that you "Wuv Mommy". Which means that, you can have anything, whatever it is that your little heart desires, it's all yours. And from what I can gather all that you want is to "Pay Choo Choo's" with me when we get home. You asked and asked on the way to daycare today. You also asked for a tubby on the way home last night. Which I think is great, because it must remind you of Amma, because every time you are with her for more than a minute, she gives you a tubby. She just love, love, LOVES the way you smell after bath time. Like a little tiny baby, even though you are now almost 2, it makes her think of 2 years ago when you were so small and so new and so very much the first grandchild. She also will forever be at your service, because when asked "Who's baby are you?" The most common reply is "Amma's Bebe". Followed quickly by a "My Bebe" because you think we are talking about your blanket. So very protective of you blanket you are. You actually hit the girls at daycare who DARE to touch your blanket. It and you have been given many time outs over it. But it's yours and you understand that. You are also starting to understand what a "Time Out" is. You are so very smart and because of that, we know you are ours.

I love you, Baby!

Love, Mommy.

I say Peeeaaasss!

Kermit is very good with his manners. He will say please for everything. He know that he will get nothing with out the magic word. Other wise known as the word that follows "What do you say?" Peas! But lately, if we don't immediately jump on his request after one small "peas", he he will start rubbing his belly (My cousin taught him the sign for please by rubbing your chest -- KM version is a little lower, but he gets the idea), anyways, he rubs his belly and starts yelling, "I say PEAS!". He knows what he is suppose to say in order to get what he wants, so when you don't jump, he yells. It is so very funny. He is way to smart for his own good. He'll say it again and again until you get it for him. Then he will say Thank. He is working on the You. Sometimes it's Thank, sometimes Thank You. So I have been following up with a "You're Welcome." Sunday, he was asking, so I gave him what he wanted then he said Thank You, I said You're Welcome. Thank You, You're Welcome, Thank You, You're Welcome, then finally he started saying I Welcome, I Welcome, I Welcome. Again, to smart, he figured out that he was the You're.

He'll be 2 at the end of the month, and I am dreading his birthday. I am not ready for terrible 2's. He's learning the ABC's, and counting. He can do some of these already, or at least has a pretty good start on it, but right now, he won't sing the ABC's like he used to, he wants me to sing them, always once forward and once backwards. But when he knows them himself, he won't ask me to sing them anymore and this hurts my heart. It will be one of the many things I have to let go of and I am SO not ready to start that yet. That I guess is just the job of the mom is to learn to let go and let them grow up. I just want to keep him little for as long as I can, "I say Peas!" Doesn't that count for anything....

Honey Bunny Bear

Kermit is not feeling so well since last night when I picked him up from Fi Fi's (daycare), which normally I would worry a little but since Todd isn't feeling the best either, I figure it's the same bug. But I actually liked it last night, there was lots of cuddle time on the couch. He really wanted me to hold him and rub his back. It was also my job to grab his bee-bee (blankey) and his bubu's (sippy cup).

Since he has started moving around (about 5 months old) he hasn't wanted to sit still and snuggle with mama. But I miss it, that's what babies are for, is cuddling. So I was happy as a clam. Then after bath time, which was incredibly short since he wasn't feeling well, I got to sit on the couch again with my very clean smelling baby.

How I miss the days when he didn't move as much. I really enjoy him at this age. He is really starting to talk and put thoughts together, but when ever he wants to sit still, it's usually by dad, so I get no snuggles.

He kept saying my name last night, I was starting to wonder if he thought I left or something. We we sitting on the couch and his head was lying on my chest and he would say "Mama?", "Yes, Honey Bunny Bear", "Mama?", "Yes, Honey Bunny Bear" -- this would repeat for about 5 more times. Then he would give up for a while and then start again.

Oh, how I love that little boy!

Happy Day Mommy!!

Since it was my birthday the other day, my mom decided to teach Kermit to say "Happy Birthday Mommy". It didn't go as planned. He couldn't say Birth. So instead she taught him to say "Happy Day Mommy". Haven't actually heard him say it yet. He's not about to say it him self with out a little coaxing.

I was talking to my mom this morning and she was telling me he had learned to say it. She says it super cute, I guess we'll have to try that tonight. She was going to call dad and have him help but didn't get that far this week. It's okay, at least he can say it.

Love him to pieces!

I No Know!

Kyler Kermit has been too funny lately.

Where's daddy?? "I no know"

Where's Amma?? "I no know"

Where's Uncle Jake?? "I no know"

His other newest saying has included the word "seebin' " (sleeping), "Mommy, Daddy seebin'. "

He is big into repeating anything that you say. In honor of election day, and taking him to vote with us, daddy tried to teach him to say "I voted." It came out "I boo, boo-ed". It was really funny watching him try so hard to repeat it.

He also has been working on hitting the ball with the bat. He can hit it on the floor golf style, but lately dad has been holding it in the air and dropping it just as KM swings the bat. He makes contact and it really whizzes across the room. Then he sets the bat down to clap at him self.

Do they get any cuter?? Maybe I am still missing him a little, we just got back from San Francisco. We were gone for 5 days over the weekend and he stayed home.

More on the Excellent Adventures in SF soon...