Husband and I...

We've had our better days, that's for sure. Got in a big fight with him this weekend and I don't even know why we're fighting. He was grouchy first, then he pinched my finger with a dresser (this I know was unintentional), then he threw the dresser (fit of rage), then after lots of yelling, said we should get a divorce (idle threat).

"Go ahead and leave, I'm not going to beg you to stay somewhere you don't want to be." (I think he gets even more mad when I say this. Hasn't been the first time I have had to say it either. But it's true. I am not going to beg you to stay in a relationship you clearly don't want to be in.)

Later he came to apologize, with a very lame "Sorry" and thought that would fix it. Well it didn't and I'm still pissed. How can he say something so hurtful, about leaving and divorce and then think his standard apology is going to win me over.

Sunday came and he wanted to "get some", and I kept telling him No, because he wasn't very nice to me. He couldn't understand how the 2 correlated. It's just so irritating. Why doesn't he get that he has to be nice to me or I'm not going to give "it" up. I'm not some whore who does it with no feeling. It actually means a little something to me.

Will we ever get it figured out? I know marriage is hard, but why can't we fight like adults? It seems like every time we get in a fight, he quickly apologizes and then expects everything to be exactly the same. And every time, I feel like my side wasn't even heard by him, and then I spend the next few days mad, and eventually let it go, because by now, it so "old" that I don't even remember why we started fighting in the first place. I felt like I was attacked by him, I don't know where all that anger came from, and then all of a sudden it was gone. SO WEIRD.

I guess it's time for this one to be water under the bridge, but one day I would like to understand our fighting. Because right now I don't and there is no one close (miles wise) who can tell me and the one person who 'gets' us is out of state and starting a new job, and has her own stuff right now. So I'm not going to bog her down with this.

Feels a little better to at least get it off my chest, but, still feels like and open wound. The world may never know.....

(Update: I have finally figured out why we fight the way we do. It's because he's a RED and I'm a YELLOW. It's our personality types that make us fight the way we do. Seems obvious, but it never was until we took this. Now we know why we fight the way we do and it's easier to overcome our differences. We both understand how the other one fights, so now we can fix it much faster. Plus, we've had a few years since this to become closer and realize that not everything is worth fighting over. Sometimes you just need to let it go. 8/24/09)

Honey Bunny Bear

Kermit is not feeling so well since last night when I picked him up from Fi Fi's (daycare), which normally I would worry a little but since Todd isn't feeling the best either, I figure it's the same bug. But I actually liked it last night, there was lots of cuddle time on the couch. He really wanted me to hold him and rub his back. It was also my job to grab his bee-bee (blankey) and his bubu's (sippy cup).

Since he has started moving around (about 5 months old) he hasn't wanted to sit still and snuggle with mama. But I miss it, that's what babies are for, is cuddling. So I was happy as a clam. Then after bath time, which was incredibly short since he wasn't feeling well, I got to sit on the couch again with my very clean smelling baby.

How I miss the days when he didn't move as much. I really enjoy him at this age. He is really starting to talk and put thoughts together, but when ever he wants to sit still, it's usually by dad, so I get no snuggles.

He kept saying my name last night, I was starting to wonder if he thought I left or something. We we sitting on the couch and his head was lying on my chest and he would say "Mama?", "Yes, Honey Bunny Bear", "Mama?", "Yes, Honey Bunny Bear" -- this would repeat for about 5 more times. Then he would give up for a while and then start again.

Oh, how I love that little boy!

Happy Day Mommy!!

Since it was my birthday the other day, my mom decided to teach Kermit to say "Happy Birthday Mommy". It didn't go as planned. He couldn't say Birth. So instead she taught him to say "Happy Day Mommy". Haven't actually heard him say it yet. He's not about to say it him self with out a little coaxing.

I was talking to my mom this morning and she was telling me he had learned to say it. She says it super cute, I guess we'll have to try that tonight. She was going to call dad and have him help but didn't get that far this week. It's okay, at least he can say it.

Love him to pieces!

Husbands!

Why does he need to get so grouchy about me going out with a friend? A girl, friend, he knows her almost as well as I do, been friends with her for YEARS, only get to see her once in a while, we mostly talk and eat dinner. Don't get wild and crazy, and it's my birthday! Why, Why, Why does he get so sassy pants on me?? It's not like I am never around. I rarely go out with friends or do things with out the babin'. And did I mention it was my birthday the other day. And she wants to take me out.


GRRR! He acts like it's the end of the world because I want to hang out without him around. Or maybe it's because he's on babin' duty. I don't know and I don't understand. He says he's "Fine" and that he's not crabby. But he is, I can tell, wives know this stuff. It's like he tries to make me feel guilty for not coming home right after work. Well BULL SHIT!

Why do I need to worry about what he thinks anyways. Because he's my husband that's why and I do have to live with him. We (my friend and I) have had this planned for weeks, and I told him about it the day we planned it. Told him he had to pick up the babin' from daycare. It was fine then. But last night it was anything but fine. So pissed off I am!

I just want to go out, have a good time and go home to the babin' and the hubby, but now... I don't know.

SF or Bust!

This past weekend we took a trip to San Francisco with some friends of ours. We have never traveled as couples (together) before. It was all I could expect and more. They are so much fun and so like us. It was a very low key, everybody got to do/see everything they wanted to.

Fisherman's Warf -- Check
Alcatraz -- Check
Anheiser Busch Tour -- Check
Golden Gate Bridge -- Check
Cable Cars -- Check
49er's Game -- Check
Hot Tub Time -- Check

We couldn't have asked for a better time.

More stories to come on the rowdy drunken-ness that ensued!

I No Know!

Kyler Kermit has been too funny lately.

Where's daddy?? "I no know"

Where's Amma?? "I no know"

Where's Uncle Jake?? "I no know"

His other newest saying has included the word "seebin' " (sleeping), "Mommy, Daddy seebin'. "

He is big into repeating anything that you say. In honor of election day, and taking him to vote with us, daddy tried to teach him to say "I voted." It came out "I boo, boo-ed". It was really funny watching him try so hard to repeat it.

He also has been working on hitting the ball with the bat. He can hit it on the floor golf style, but lately dad has been holding it in the air and dropping it just as KM swings the bat. He makes contact and it really whizzes across the room. Then he sets the bat down to clap at him self.

Do they get any cuter?? Maybe I am still missing him a little, we just got back from San Francisco. We were gone for 5 days over the weekend and he stayed home.

More on the Excellent Adventures in SF soon...